Please click here for part twenty-three
When you are at the Divine’s feet, the body awareness, gets less attention from you. But as we all know our body is in our consciousness, along with our Sukshma and Karana Sharira. I was ignoring all three of them, and they didn’t appreciate it. They decided to go on a strike. Since yesterday unknowingly, I started hanging out with someone, who was making me feel uncomfortable. I still continued the conversation, I thought I need to be open minded, love and accept everyone. It is my duty, my dharma to be kind understanding person. My Karana Sharira didn’t care much, but my Sukshma Sharira was very disappointed at me. I ignored the warning, so far so well!
Especially today, I started feeling pressured, in my heart, I wanted to run away from that person and from that situation but was frozen at the spot. After 15–20 min or so I had a chance to leave the area and I ran to the dorm. I was in my bed, trying to calm my mind (Sukshma Sharira), but my body and mind were restless. All of sudden I developed a massive stomach ache, I curled up my legs and was trying to keep myself calm. From nowhere, I had an urge to vomit! I ran to the bathroom. Along with my body fluids my uncomfortable feelings, that heavy pressure in my chest, negative thoughts started getting washed out. I felt little better, and I was back in bed. But the pain was still there, along accompanied by a massive headache. I drank some water, and took a pill for my headache. Before I knew, I was back in the bathroom vomiting. This went on for 3–4 times. Girls around me noticed, that I was not feeling well. Everyone was getting ready for Yajna that evening. Ria ji suggested, I should visit the clinic. A few days back, she had a similar situation but not this severe. She tried to call Dr. Geeta Om ji for me, but had no luck. It was getting late; doctor must have already left for the Yajna, I thought. Ria Ji was not ready to leave me alone. I had to convince her to go for the Yajna, and promised her that I will get in touch with Dr. Geeta Ji. At the same time very lovingly Jayshree Om ji gave me some namkeen to help settle my body fluids, along with pack of electrolyte. So very gently, gorgeous Mrinalini Om ji put her blessed Angara (ashes from her puja) on my forehead and gave me prasad as well. I don’t really know any of these girls personally, but they were all tying to help me, praying for my better health.
Lucky, I got in touch with Dr. Geeta Om Ji, she asked me to come at the clinic. It was almost getting close to 6 pm. Yajna starts at sharp 6:30pm. Latest you can arrive at Yajna Shala is by 6 pm. In spite of that, Dr. Geeta Om ji opened the clinic for me. She checked my health, started working on getting the medication. While she was busy, I had a chance to look around her clinic, this was my first visit here. Next to her desk at the back side, was Guruji’s photo in the frame (no more than 4X6). He looks so young in that picture. The photo was showing just his face in an angle, smiling. He has covered his head with his vastra (robe) and pulled it down behind his left ear. I don’t think he does that anymore, or at least I haven’t seen him doing that. Everything was arranged very neatly in the clinic but my eyes were locked on Guruji’s picture.
Dr. Geeta Om Ji was very calm and collected. She didn’t show any rush in her action, she was not trying to get rid of me by giving me some medications, so she can be at the Yajna Shala on time. She was completely focused on my wellbeing. She was asking me questions, checking my every possible symptom. I was amazed, how graciously and kindly she was handling me. I was the most important person for her, at that time. I developed immense respect for her, and was glad for a second, that I got sick. Otherwise, how else would I have gotten a chance, to see her tapasya, her devotion? She was the Divine ma to me at that time.
Basudev ji was about to close the office too, but he saw me at the clinic, and ran inside the office and got me two water bottles. I told him not to worry about me, and he should rush to Yajna Shala, but he didn’t mind helping me at all. Everyone was worried about me, and all were trying their best to make me feel comfortable. I felt so blessed, and fell short for words to express my gratitude.
I wanted to attend the Yajna, but I was vomiting every 15–20 minutes. At the Yajna, it was certain that I would run outside at least a few times. it was impossible for my body to control the urge. That would disturb the devotees, Yajneshwara, and my Guruji. Yajna has to go well; I couldn’t let my Divine ma down.
In the dorms, I was resting in my bed, weeping like a child. There was no one there, I was all alone. My body was weak, I had no strength to move. I was force to be in bed. The wakeup call done by my Sukshma Sharira, to take care of my body (Sthula Sharira) was well noted. Without a strong body there is no path of enlightenment. On the other hand, no enlightenment unless you separate yourself from your body without ignoring it! Bhagwan Sri Hari ji, what is this catch-22 you have created?
I realized my Divine ma came, in so many different forms today to help me get better. She was in Ria ji, Jayashree ji, Mrunalini Ji, Dr. Geeta Om ji, Basudev ji and everyone all around me. She was everywhere and in everyone. I was overwhelmed by the love and affection, she showered me with.
Still, in my very attractive duality world, I was missing the Yajna and my Guruji. I started chanting in my mind and all of a sudden, I remembered, I can watch live Yajna on my phone, as my WIFI signal is super strong here. Hallelujah!! The advance technology and Guruji’s vision! I went on a site, got the link open and…..and there he was, my Bhagwan, my Guruji performing the Yajna right in front of me. I could kiss, and bow at his lotus feet. I could hold him so close to me. Today, I had the best seat at the Yajna.
Please click here for part twenty-five