Please click here for part eight.

We were at the temple around 6 pm. People were still walking in; some were already inside and settled. The ambiance at the temple was different today. Everything was just breathtakingly beautiful. The burgundy red carpet was led out for HIM to walk on. Bhagwan Sri Hari Ji looked extra happy and pleased today. We sat in the back, but I got the seat next to the burgundy carpet. I was admiring and soaking the energy in the temple. After a few announcements, everyone became quiet and started looking outside the temple. I realized that they all were waiting for Swami Ji. I curiously started looking outside too. And, a few minutes later, HE came into the walkway’s frame. HE was walking towards us; his pace was fast. Two other Swami Ji’s were almost running behind him, keeping up with his pace but gently keeping a respectful distance following his steps. Swami Ji had an ochre color robe. HE looks so radiant and handsome. My heart started pounding so fast; I could hear my heartbeats. There HE was, my heart’s missing piece walking towards us. I have been searching for HIM all my life. I was sad and frustrated because I didn’t know how and where to find HIM. I was lost, oh so lost, in looking for HIM. Wealth, luxury, world travel, gourmet meals, life partner, physical and emotional affection… nothing…. absolutely nothing was making me happy and complete, nor was it making any sense. I kept looking for my missing heart piece, rejecting everything else around me. I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown.

The Divine walks in

Now, awareness rushed along with the realization that HE is the one my heart was aching for, the one I was looking for all these years, actually all my life.

And here HE is, entering the temple with the cutest smile and a twinkle in his eyes; he swiftly changes his shoes to Paduka at the temple’s entrance. Everyone bowed to his feet as he started walking on the burgundy carpet. I turned, too; I have never bowed to any human being with so much devotion and love. But this time, it felt so natural and didn’t feel like it was doing it for the first time; it was more like, “Of course, I always pay obeisance to my Guru every time I see him; HE is my Guru.”

As HE passed through me, where I was sitting with so much gratitude, love, and more love, mindfully, HE looked at me. Did HE look at me and nod his head with a smile?? I didn’t know how to react. Did HE smile at me? Did HE notice me? Is HE saying, “Ah! You made it good”! Or was it just my imagination? Yes, it had to be my imagination. No… it can’t be; HE did see me and gave me a welcome smile.

I told my mind to calm down. I realized that highly intense sensation and understanding of knowing him forever rushed in when I saw him. But my stubborn brain immediately discarded that thought. How can I know him? But how could I win the argument with my brain and mind? Oh my! I can’t stop my mind!!

The questions!

HE asked how everyone was doing. I was staring in awe; I was speechless. I was overwhelmed. There, HE was sitting right there, the Divine himself! I forgot who I was. Shockingly, I had no more questions for my Divine. I was in total bliss in his presence. I couldn’t remember what HE said, but then I realized HE was asking if anyone had any questions, Shubs elbowed me, and my hand got raised along with many others. HE looked straight into my eyes, and with a smile, HE said, “Yes, you can ask me your question” or something along that line; who is paying attention to the word when the Divine is In front of you!”. (Ugg! It was my mistake; please pay attention to the words when the Divine is talking to you). I was shocked! I couldn’t believe HE was talking to me, looking directly at me. I am nobody, the tiniest spec of dust at his feet. No.. no, if you break that dust into infinity pieces, I would be one of those pieces. With disbelief, I asked HIM to receive a double confirmation from HIM, “Me?…. Me? Do you want me to ask YOU a question?” With the cutest smile, he said, “Yes, I want you to ask me your question.”. Now my brain confirmed that HE wanted me to ask a question. All of a sudden, I started shaking up, and I became nervous. My words couldn’t come out of my mouth. This was new to me; I am very talkative, and it takes extreme effort to keep me quiet. I don’t have stage fright and can be very bold when I need to be. And now, nothing was coming out of my mouth.

I had to pull all my strength together, and with a shaking and trembling voice, I asked something like this, “I have read it, mindfully understand it, and have an awareness that we live in a world of duality. Theoretically aware but practically lacking the oneness. I have read the story about Swami Vivekananda, that his Guru Ramakrishna Paramahansa’s one touch showed him the oneness in the world. Is that the only way to experience and see the oneness in this world, or is there any other way? How can I see and experience it? I am desperate and ready to get out of duality”. Ok, so initially, this was my question. Not sure what came out of my mouth that time, but fortunately, HE understood what I was asking. Or maybe, HE already knew what I was going to ask, so my mumbling was not a problem nor a hurdle for HIM. For the next 20 mins, HE looked at me and answered my question. I am sure HE was looking around, but for me, HE was only looking at me. Have you noticed; in the temple, one always feels that Bhagwan Ji is only looking at them? Tears were rushing out of my eyes for whole 20 mins and more. I was trying to hide them, but I wasn’t succeeding. I couldn’t stop it. I was overwhelmed, happy, and humbled at the same time. HE was so kind to me. HE gave me all HIS attention and love at one glance, which was enough for me for eternity.

After my question, one more was answered in a few minutes. Everyone was ready for the aarti, followed by the Gandharva Shankha Naad; Swami ji performed the aarti. It was so beautiful to watch. My heart was whole with love and peace. I love how HE raises one foot and hands when HE sings, “Jai Jai aarti, Hari tumhari.”

Has anyone seen more serene and beautiful than Swami Ji performing aarti to Bhagwan Sri Hari Ji? The divine himself singing aarti to the Divine.

Please click here for part 10