I found swami when i was utterly depressed and confused about my carrer .I was giving my premedical exam with constant bullying in coaching and zero friends and as ofcourse i was sad and extremely angry 😠. they say people who are sad and depressed with world find god first .(a self experience) . everything about god and spirituality was so different at starting it felt like beautiful lie people buy to run away from themselves and their miseries.It felt like those years i met Every possibly wrong person i was suppose to meet in my entire life .It felt like god conspired against me so i could fail and not study .my mental health got utterly compromised in all this .i learnt many lessons to be honest particularly not happy but i feel privileged abt all that pain .pain and suffering can bring us very close to god and everything unconditional in this world . when we have nothing to lose not even ourselves we truly start making her as our true friend and not just a idol of metal .I met all the angry people who managed to like nothing about me .i felt extremely unloved,lonely and depressed .i was fairly a good student in my school so competative ,sincere and here i was being called out in the class of 250  by my angry professor whom i still don’t forgive and hold a grudge for.whom on earth would like getting insulted for even existing here .i would scroll internet, youtube and explore abt satan ,god shady out of this world stuff ( coz thats where i wanted to go 😂) i had to engage my mind and my sad self. i was scrolling and found swamis video a person with no fancy external setup just a white plane wall behind him and his face having luster of thousand suns 🌞talking about kundalini awakening.a pretty simple and handsome monk.something about monks always attract me on how they live so unbothered and alone in this big world i never see any monk with pity in my eyes to me they are the most strong people i respect them and dream to become one .i clicked  pretty reluctantly “ye kon hai “😳🤨and was pretty mesmerised by the speaker .a entirely different dimension had opened. It felt like god had found ways to talk and convey what he actually wanted to say to me .all that tears infront of her i shed about how she never cares about me , questioning her entire existence ,how unloved i feel and how i am gonna die alone .i had this love -hate relationship with mother divine and all i had was her and she had me in those lonely dark nights .all those questions had a “possible and practical “answer 

Om swami 

to be continued………………❤️

 

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Rucha

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