“Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable”
– Henry Ward Beecher
Starting with the centuries-old Romeo and Juliet‘s story, we are built with dreams and fantasy in our minds about the perfect love stories. When they fell in love, she was barely into her teens, and he wasn’t much older.
Some saw them as a star-crossed couple who found understanding, joy and maturity in each other’s arms. Others saw them as impulsive kids whose reckless passion cut them off from family, friends, and more appropriate interests, provoked mood swings, delinquent behaviour and experimentation with drugs, and ended in tragedy.
Infatuation is an intense emotion that one feels for another person. Because it is temporary in nature, it slowly fades away if it does not get fueled regularly. One of the facts about it, is that some of us are prone to falling in infatuation more than others.
Many in the adolescence, including me, struggled to understand the reason behind the infatuating and fleeting feelings. During those times, I felt very heavy inside me as I had a strong belief that these feelings were extremely wrong and harmful for my life. I was in a constant turbulent state over what to do and how to overcome it. I would not reveal it to anyone, as I know it’s a complete taboo. I ended up cutting all sorts of relationships with the person I was infatuated with, and suffered with no support and help.
By Swaminji‘s help and grace, the below suggestions worked for me, and I would like to share these with others:
Finding peace, and getting rid of guilty conscience
I was told that there was nothing moral or immoral in the act and was asked to accept it as a natural emotion, and my guilty conscience was removed by the affirmations that usually all the individuals might experience these emotions at different stages of life. I was advised to take it naturally and not feel guilty. This put me at ease, and the suppressed inner feeling went, and made me feel light and easy.
Engaging ourselves in a productive pursuit
I was suggested to redirect my mind by engaging in an activity that I completely love. Finding a passion in a creative pursuit and actively engaging in it almost always solves the majority of problems.
An idle mind is the devil’s workshop & makes a person lazy
Keeping myself engaged in hobbies that I enjoy the most, worked as the best option to replace any unwanted thought. When I redirected all my energy to my passion, I almost forgot everything and was happy thinking that I was progressing to a much better state. When you’re having fun, time flies, right? The same can be said when you are intensely focussed on work, the day just passes, without you even noticing.
I am very grateful to Swamiji and the team for sharing these ideas and relieving me from a heavy burden I once felt. I am sharing these suggestions passed on to me with the hope that they might also help someone going through this phase of infatuations, without any guidelines and support.