From time immemorial we are trying to answer this question. Today let me try to answer it.
We know that in the modern world, Anger and stress are the biggest killers. We lead a miserable life because of these emotion. Does this mean they are bad? On the other hand anger and all other negative thoughts and emotions like stress, jealousy, procrastination are needed for our survival. We cannot afford to live without them. Does this mean they are good?
Before going in to this we need to understand how our mind works. First our five senses collect data from our environment. This data is stored and analysed with our memory. Then emotions arises and hormones are released. In this process thoughts are produced. Some times you even start playing a role in it and before you even realise several minutes pass by. Most of this happens without us being aware of it.
Now let me give you an example. You are driving to your office. On the way you stop at a signal. The moment you see the signal your brain analyses about this places through memory and it starts giving you relevant data through thoughts. Few days back you might have had an altercation with another person, he was honking a lot even when the signal was red. This thought comes to your mind. Now what happens next is very important. The moment you get the thought about the other driver you start playing a role in your thought. You start thinking what all you should you have done. “I should have given him a stare”, I should have blocked his way, I should have done this and that. Before you realise couple of minutes passes and signal falls green and you move away. This is how we think day in and day out.
Now with this understanding let’s analyse anger and other negative thoughts. When something happens in your life and because of which you get these emotions, then that is fine. In this scenario your negative emotions or energy is trying to save you and they can be called as good.
Some times this whole sequence will be changed, that is instead of something happens, your mind analyses, thoughts and emotions rise and hormones released. Things will happen in reverse order. Due to disease, mal nutrition, poor physical activity, there will lack of good hormones. You will match them with negative thoughts. Now in this scenario then your negative emotions can can be called as bad. You are in way benefited by them, it is actually harming you. How many times you would told your loved ones, “I don’t know why, but I am very tense”. But within minutes you will start thinking about all the bad things that happened in your life.
To further explain this concept let me give 2 examples.
You are in a super market standing in the queue, suddenly some body tries to cut in, you get angry, irritated. You confront him. Is it bad? No. It is survival skill. You body is trying to protect you, it is asking you to act. At the same time next day again when you come to this super market, You remember this person you get irritated. This emotion will be there for another few minutes and it could lead you in to taking any rash decision. Now tell me is this Anger correct?
If you analyse all your negative emotion in this manner, you will understand 90% of your negative thoughts are un necessary. You will save a lot of mental energy and when the real problem comes you will be able face them easily.
When your body is angry don’t try to match it with thoughts. Be calm it shall pass.