Three years back, on this day, I lost my maternal grandmother. She was not only my Nani, but everything rolled into one. After losing parents, at a very young age, if anyone took care of my sister and me, it was she. She was an old woman, in her eighties, when I lost my mother. She had no regular source of income, but she had a big heart. She took my younger sister and me with her to her small house in a village. At that time, I was in 3rd standard and my sister was in UKG. I made a lot of mistakes and I know I will never get that time back for feeling sorry to her. I cannot thank her in this birth for giving us a life. I never had guts to share my feelings for her but I always wanted to. So, today, on her 3rd death anniversary, I want to tell her story. Actually a book can be written about her.
After losing her husband, she brought up my mother all alone. She gave her a good education and according to her, she selected the best guy for her daughter’s marriage. Due to life’s challenges she had become bitter which resulted in my mom’s silence. Our mother was her only child, who was smart and obedient. Everyone says my mother was a good person. So after the early death of my mother, she took both of us with her, without thinking about finances and all. She just brought us home. She sent us to a school, which was near to our home. She tried to give us a good education. Although she was very old, but she always motivated us to study more and more so that we could be independent. I always had a problem with her behavior, since my childhood, because of some issues and I used to complaint about those. I was not a grateful person at all. Actually she was a tough person to stay with, but truth be told she was difficult because of my mistakes as well. In short, she was brave. She was not happy to take help from others. At the age of eighty, she used to cook food by herself. She used to wake up at 4 am and clean the house and she used to chant mantras, given by her guru, twice a day. Most of the times she would be sleeping during the day. Whenever I got a chance to chat with her, I would. She used to talk about my mom and used to complain about my dad, who died a few months after my mother’s death, and his family. In childhood, I felt bad about her derogatory comments about my papa, but as I grew up I knew why she used to say all those words. He and his family actually deserved those bad comments.
When it was time to see our success, she was gone. I remember she used to show us small trinkets and say I will give these on your wedding and all. She used to tell us about mom’s things which she wanted to give us on our wedding. However financially difficult the situation was, whenever we asked her for something, she would get it for us in no time. I don’t know how she managed all this.
- Not just because she was my granny but as a woman she was a warrior. I respect her for what she did. I really wish she could be here today to see us happy and shining. I still remember when my first book got published, how proud she was and how she used to tell everyone about it.
I just want to say, thank you Nani, for giving us this life. Thank you, for making us independent. Thank you so much, Swami ji, for being there for us, all the time. Thank you for becoming everything when we had nothing. Thank you my Ashram family and Sidhu family for taking care of us and for all the love. Your love is more powerful than pain of losing Nani.