Ola people 😊
How is everyone? Hope you all are doing great.😇🙏🏻
So we all know about sexual harassment and sexual assaults. We have read plenty of articals, stories or documentations/documentaries and etc. We all are aware about it.
But today I want to talk about two things that we are doing and it is not oky.
First is “PLEASE STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR IT.”
see, if you are victim of sexual assault /harassment, please speak up for yourself and stop blaming yourself for it. It was not your fault that it happened to you.
This one time we had girls night and we were talking about this stuff and one of our friend told us about her childhood experience. It was their cook/caretaker.(he left the job after 6-7 months)
She didn’t told anyone Coz she thought her parents would only blame her for it.(obviously they wouldn’t have blamed her and would have taken correct action) She always thought it was her fault. She thought it happened because of her body size or her behaviour toward him.
She told us ” guys I was small to understand it at that time(was in 7th class) but when I did, it was too late. I kept blaming myself for it. I thought my body type or may be my behaviour somehow showed him that I was interested or oky with it. “
This made me super angry. Like no no no it was not you fault. You were just a child. How could have you known. How could you body or behaviour could have attracted him.
Nooo. I swear it’s not your fault. We need to stop blaming ourselves for this.
If you think Just because you have certain type of body, or your choices in clothes are certain, or you have more male friends, or you talk to people nicely or happily, it happened to you!! Noo, it happened because the other persons mind is not in its right place. it could have happened to anybody. Like Anybody. That other person is the one who should be blamed.
You don’t have to blame yourself. Because its gonna eat you from inside. How are you Gonna live this life fullest. Or trust people or be oky with people around you. Your confidence or attitude toward things your mental health, everything gets ruined.
Please don’t blame yourself.
And 2nd thing is PLEASE STOP NORMALISING SOME OF THESE THING.
You know what we are doing these days. We are normalising some of the stuffs and trust me it’s not cool at all.
In that girls night we also talked about our day to day experiences like when we are travelling through buses or trains and we get weird stares, or those Cheap/creepy uncles (you exactly know about whom iam talking about), those cozy side passenger whoes ultimate goal is to touch you or your body. That creepy auto drivers, those college boys and their group. Some old people’s (maybe of my grandpa’s age), cars following you, and the list goes on and on. (this is when you are minding your business. You are doing nothing wrong)
We talked about all these problems and they all were talking like “this isn’t even that big of a deal. ”
Why are we normalising it. It is not normal. Just because ‘nothing more happened’ it is normal. Just because “everyone goes through this” it’s normal. Just because “no one makes a big deal out of it” it’s normal.
What are we doing? Like seriously. What are we doing. Why are we oky with it. Why are we adjusting to something which is soo wrong.
We are embarrassed, we are afraid that “people gonna judge us.” We think “why make a big deal out of it. ” we think “only our respect is going to get damaged” we think “why to cause a big drama” and we behave like that coz maybe we learned it from our society or from our family. I don’t know.
All iam saying is please stop normalising it. Yes it is a big deal and when you are sharing it don’t tell your story like “oh nothing much happened, just some stares, some bad touches from uncles and creepy auto driver and etc ” like noo it’s a big thing too. Talk like it is wrong. Talk Like this is a big deal.
Its oky if you, for some reason, didn’t stand up for yourself in that kinda situation but when you sharing your story please talk like it was seriously a big deal.
Iam not saying everyone is bad and all. There are billions of people who are Angels. But we got problems with few people here. And I think we need to deal with them seriously.
And to the people who think “no one would believe me” trust me, they would believe you. I would believe you. You just need to share. 😇
And Thankyou everyone.
That’s all from my side. 🙏🏻