The word “LOVE’ is the most commonly used word in our vocabulary daily, we are constantly saying “ I Love You”…. Be it to your parents, partner, children, pets, friends etc, and by saying it we feel we are being expressive and loving towards them. Are we really doing a good feeling therapy here for others and for ourselves???
How does one define “Love”?? The first definition of love in the dictionary is “an intense feeling of deep affection” “ love is what one feels from the heart” Love should never be seen or felt as a “feeling” but as an “enacted emotion” To love is to feel and act lovingly. Many a times you may have strong feeling and even believe you cannot live without them etc, but you do not actually love them .

When a child is born, the parent’s immediate reaction is “I would do anything for my child” We often hear the phrase “you don’t love me anymore”.We know deep down that love is not a feeling alone, but a feeling that flows into the world as action.
Between human beings, love is a relational word. Yes, you can love things that do not love you back—the sky or a mountain or a painting or the game of chess. But the love of other people is directional. There is a lover and a beloved—you don’t just love, but you love at someone. And real love is not only about the feelings of the lover; it is not egotism. It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.
Of course it is possible to perform all sorts of duties for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love is not about being hired help. Love is not an obligation done with a cold soul. But neither is it a passion that expresses itself in cruelty, or one that does not express itself at all. The feeling must be wedded to the deed.
We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet’s song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.

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Bhavani Sundaram

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