For the first time I am attempting to write my professional experience. Please do excuse me if I have made any mistakes. Thanks to Om Swami ji for the opportunity and encouragement.

I am a Registered Nurse and it was one of the usual day at work place. We usually start our job after taking handover from the Nurse on duty. While taking Handover the Nurse mentioned about this particular patient, let’s call her Mrs. X. Mrs X admitted to our hospital to undergo planned spinal surgery, however, during surgery, the surgeon noticed something odd and he sent a sample for further studies ( Biopsy) and the results came with a diagnosis of Hodgkin’s disease.

The nurse mentioned that, since she heard the news of her newly diagnosed terminal disease, she devastated and she is not eating, not actively involved in Activities of daily living ( like shower, mouth care etc ) and not cooperating with physiotherapist, not even getting out of the bed and she is refusing to take out her catheter. She is been like this for last couple of days. Also, there was an incident yesterday as her husband was not treated well for staying back for longer than visiting hours by receptionist.

I thought for myself that, well, it’s going to be challenging shift today. However, after handover, I got that patient after allocating. We usually finish our S8( controlled drugs, used for pain, are kept in locker and need two nurses to access and administer medication) drug round prior to starting checking vital signs. When we went to give her pain medication, I just noticed her face which was dull and there was no cheerfulness noted. But at that time I didn’t think it was the same patient who was diagnosed with terminal illness. I just casually asked her name and administered her medications, explained her I am her nurse and will come back and further assist her.

I introduced myself to Mrs X, said that I will be looking after her today. I checked her vital signs and everything was alright and after that I just initiated conversation by conveying how sorry I am for her newly identified diagnosis. She looked at me and started sobbing. I touched her shoulder and tried to console her, but what I should say, I cannot say, it is alright, because, it is not! So just said I totally understand what she is going through and just empathised with her.  She said I am just 65years old, I still have lot of things to do and more life to left. I would have been okay if I was 85 years. I am just not able to come to terms with this diagnosis. I am not saying why me? But it is just I came here for a surgery and going back with this cancer, not fair. She started crying. I listened to her patiently and touched shoulder again.

I tried to reason with her by explaining the recent accidental and untimely demise of famous Kannada actor Punit Rajkumar, I told about him, he is famous actor in Karnataka, son of a legendary actor Dr Rajkumar, he is known for his humility, humbleness as person and as an actor he is known for his dance, used to take fights shots without dupe and he was very fit man, a gym guy. He was just 46 years old, few days ago he consulted his GP for discomfort in chest, upon doing ECG, doctor notes abnormality in ECG and suggested to get admit immediately in tertiary care hospital. Unfortunately, on the way to hospital he had a massive cardiac arrest and doctors failed to resuscitate and recover him. Whole state, was stunned with this news. I further explained, why I am saying this because, life is unpredictable, I know it is easy for me to explain. But to be frank, I do not what will happen to me next moment, even the actor did not aware but you know. So, you will have to come to terms with this. You know you don’t have much life left, instead of worrying about it, just make a bucket list, try to enjoy and embrace every moment of your life. If you want to talk to some one I can refer to a social worker. She said yes, I would like to talk to someone. Because, I do not know the disease progress and how long I have left, what symptoms I should be expecting and all. I said I will organise it and someone will be with you tomorrow.

I also explained her one of the podcast which I listened few years ago, where an American guy who had stage III cancer and left no hope travels to india and get treated with Ayurveda and Yoga. So, miracles do happen. Do not loose hope, I went to her and gave her a hug and said you have to fight this dear, you have to fight not for someone else but for YOU.

She started smiling and said yes, I will and she asked my name and I said Kotresh, she wrote my name in her book and thanked and said you are a good man. I thanked her again and left the room.

After some time, she was up and saw her walking in the corridor with physiotherapist and nodded at her in recognition of her determination and she smiled at me. Physiotherapist later came and said that,  Kotresh what you did was really good, she was appreciating you. I thanked her for conveying it to me.

Now I thank you Om Swami ji for helping me to understand the act of kindness, I have been listening to your videos, reading your articles and joined Black Lotus app and os.me. As a person I am observing changes within me. I can’t thank you enough. Kindly accept my salutations and Koti Pranam. I also Thank you for your inspiration and presence in my life. I only seek your blessings for progress in my spiritual journey.

With Love

Kotresh

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