When we suffer heartbreak we are in a lot of pain. The starting point of falling in love is that we fall in love despite our fears. So when we get hurt, we are not only losing the partner but also ancillary things that we have built with them. We lose our spontaneity, our reason to wake up in the morning and the health of our heart and spirit.

Here is an example that we can avoid to stay happy in a relationship

My friend Zeena did not like a friend of her partner. She communicated that in various ways and even tried to stop him from interacting with him. Arguments turned into disputes and the possessiveness became a painful drama to deal with. One day, he got very upset because there didn’t seem to be an answer to this mess.

He just caught hold of a pen and began writing how he could not tolerate it anymore and why he was taking a decision to call it quits. And suddenly from this mere act of writing, it occurred to him that he could actually write down the reason why all this was happening.

He skillfully explained that the equation he had with his friend was at a completely different level and he promised that it would never interfere with theirs.

So the next morning Leena read the letter which pacified her as she understood the rationale her partner rallied. Today her heart is less than a feather.

Our prowess lies in letting love flow with ease but we place too much importance on the person and not the relationship and its space. We are misguided into thinking that we own our partner and will do anything not to lose him or her. And hasn’t the movie Titanic swept away 11 Oscars to show us just this?

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Seema Chinchore

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