Today is my 1st day here, I have watched yesterday’s video and todays. To be honest I don’t know much about currently what I am doing or writing. Before Sharing anything 1st I want to thank OmSwami ji, I exactly can’t explain cause I don’t know the proper word but your words of wisdom has brought a significant change in something within me which again I can’t explain, thank you so much for that and Pranam.
Empty,Nothing, Over, such words brings a peace with me, I had and still have longing to know but now don’t know how, now I can deal with my longings and be like if not today someday you will get the answer let’s at this moment not wait for anything let’s stay empty, let’s feel I don’t exist, let’s appreciate the choice my mind can make and feel I am alone I don’t need anyone, no one is mine so their presence and absence means nothing, let’s cherish that if I am there then only there is happiness, sadness, emotion etc… let’s don’t be I anymore let’s empty the thought of I too… cause who am I? is also a longing to know which I don’t know…
When this Body sits in dark, takes a deep breath the mind wonders why can’t this stillness be permanent why there has to be anything, if this stillness is so tempting, sweet and peaceful, what if there is beyond the feeling of stillness what would be the taste of the nectar which will calmer than any stillness, darker than my room without any light and quieter than an ear of a deaf. And a mind without even such doubts.
I touch the walls of places and feel calm, I dug my palm in the soil and feel protected, I touch the bark of the tree and feel no sense of separation and there are many more such things I feel from the age I guess I used to crawl. I never appreciated this feeling I guess many of us don’t. Then something happens and we start to get lost in our ego… from here my Spiritual journey begins or should I say in just words only. Cause I do practice Spiritual practices but it feels like I just move my arms restless in dark, and from this tiredness now I have surrendered to being empty.
This I guess what was currently in my mind… I wish someday I meet OmSwami Ji. I feel heavy this is the word came to my mind I want to become light so light even I can’t feel myself and want to know how to make others feel the same that includes both man and a pebble to me, cause I see both don’t know why they are here, how they are here …. or I guess the pebble know… haha I am just smiling we don’t even know if the pebble knows why it is here but we don’t know..haha.
Thank you 😊