After reading “If Truth be Told” in 2014, I attended  Swamiji’s Zen meditation retreat in Bangalore in 2015. Not only did I meet swamiji for the first time but also had a memorable private audience in which he blessed me by placing his hand on my forehead. It was a  five day residential retreat filled with joy and bliss. The last day kirtan by Swamiji  left me speechless, it was like witnessing Chaitanya mahaprabhu, Sri Ramakrishna dance in ecstasy which i had read in the books. Swamiji was overflowing with the bhav of  bhakthi and it was a rare sight to witness( I am sure everyone who had an opportunity to witness will agree). Though  I did not take part in the kirtan, i saw the devotees slowly gather around swamiji. As swamiji moved and danced singing the ‘Hare Krishna’ Mahamantra, the crowd too moved and jumped in perfect sync. As the tempo slowly increased, so did the movement of the circle. The expression on swamiji’s face was similar to Sri Ramakrishna’s bhava samadhi. Like Hriday who was always beside Sri Ramakrishna to hold him when he was in Samadhi, Swami Vidyananda Om was beside Swamiji throughout to hold him. 

Back in home, I couldn’t stop talking about swamiji to my family as they stared at me as if I had gone bersek. How can I express it to them that my fourteen years wait to meet a God realized saint had borne fruit. I was totally floored by Swamiji’s divinity, the Tejas, the divine bliss and glow that emanated from him. There’s a saying in tamil, “Along with flowers even the straw emanates fragnance”, likewise for a few weeks I was all smiles and blissful with my mind in the abode of peace which happens rarely. Just as the downpour of swamiji’s grace bathed my soul, out of the blue as if the bliss pierced through the veil of Maya and took shape, a few words of love and gratitude for Swamiji reflected within my mind which I penned down back then in 2015, here it goes…


did you come

my love…..


thoughts, a million

doubts, a billion

riddles, a trillion

in heart, I

came to you


sunshine eyes

moonshine smile

tender words

graceful touch

I know not

whence they flew


never knew 

your touch, a key 

to ocean bliss,

butter I am 

melting night and day

in your love


I know 

her ordeal

waiting for Krishna,

waiting I am 

to see you

one more time


it fair

on your part?

bliss  so much,

I couldn’t stand


ever I turn

only you I see,

with a smile 

in my heart

Yama and Maya

hold you not,

I behold you 

in my heart 

with my love


do you go 

my love

Take me with you….”

It took me one year to meet Swamiji again. It was for the two day non-residential Meditation retreat in Bangalore 2016. Their was a group meeting of 20, in which everyone had opportunity to sit with him and talk for 10mins. I gave this rhyme in person to him and he said that he would read it later. Next year as well I attended the Kundalini retreat, same in Bangalore. Planned twice for a trip to Badrika ashram but had to cancel it due to work. Waiting eagerly for the next meet!

Jai Maa!

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Pariselvakumar Panneerselvam

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