I always wonder how some people fall fast asleep soon as they hit the bed.😪😴 For me it has been the biggest challenge all my life, falling to sleep easily😳🥴. When I go to bed, there should be absolute silence🤫, i should have had a very normal or boring😌 day without any excitement 💃💃or worries, normal room temperature oh just too many parameters.
I had a very tough time when i stayed in hostel during my engineering days. 4 girls in a room, each one having their own schedule, sometimes bathing in midnight😳🥴, chit-chatting till late night🤯 etc and I would be struggling to sleep, sometimes counting 10,000 sheeps 🐑🐑🐑🐑 and more, still wide awake in the night.😳😥
My roommate who is also very close friend, gave suggestion one day, she said instead of counting sheeps 🐑🐑🐑 you start imagining some pictures🌌, soon you will fall asleep. I thought no harm in trying, closed my eyes to try imagining something, it was pitch dark😎, harder I tried darker it became🕳️🕳️🕳️. She said, to my amusement, she can visualise anything like a HD movie(sorry for slight exaggeration here). Mine was not even black and white screen. I thought either she is lying or she has some super natural Power or very creative who can direct movies with closed eyes. I continued counting sheeps.🐑🐑🐑🐑
Years passed, I totally forgot about my inability to see things with closed eyes, now mostly worried about not seeing things properly even with open eyes😛🤓
Coming to present, my son who is 7 and a half years old, does not like to sleep, he thinks sleeping is a waste of time. As no school due to pandemic, I wanted him to sleep in the afternoon, so that there is some break from non stop playing. Yoga nidra is the best solution I thought in this situation, which satisfies both our conditions. He readily agreed, anything but sleep.
After couple of days, I asked him casually without much expectation, if he was able to visualise anything that was told during the yoga nidra. I was awestruck to hear the details with which he explained his vision/image. Extending that I asked him one night, before sleeping, to visualise him sleeping on mother Goddess lap, as he is very fond of Her. I was spellbound when he explained what he saw. Here it goes
“I was lying on mother Goddess lap, She was wearing a red saree, red bindi, red lipstick. She was looking down at me and smiling. She was caressing my head gently, her earrings were beautiful. There were butterflies around me. One beautiful butterfly came and sat on my nose, seeing that she giggled, and I also giggled. It was slightly misty but I didn’t feel cold because I was sleeping on mother Goddess lap”
He was so happy explaining this. Please trust me, not even single word mentioned here is a lie or made up. Though it is just his visualisation, I am extremely happy about it. His visualisation is only for few seconds, it just flashes in front of his eyes and disappears can’t hold for more than couple of seconds.
I started wondering why I cannot visualise, I googled and found that some people cannot visualise, it is called mental blindness. It is still pitch dark for me, I still count sheeps 🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑
Coming to the end of the post… Since last 8 months I am doing mansik pooja, which takes around 45minutes to 1 hr daily due to losing focus frequently, can you imagine, I can’t visualise a thing and doing manasik pooja🤔😬😬 where visualisation is everything. But I feel it is ok, if I start seeing things then probably it will become mechanical, like how I do normal pooja.
Someday I want to write about manasik pooja that I have been trying to do, probably once I become pro at it.
Sorry for the lengthy post and thank you for your time. My apologies if I have hurt anyone’s sentiments, this is purely , problem dealing with my inability to visualise.