What’s the significance of marriage for a millennial mind?
What’s modern and what’s obsolete?
How much forward is forward?
How much backward is backward?
What could be the new normal?
Lastly, who is old generation, who new?
Is there any scale to measure them?
These are a few questions taking rounds in my mind, in context of Indian social norms. So I decided let’s try to explore it a bit. Hopefully some answers are found here because if not here then where? Where else do I look for answers? 😊
These days live-in relationship has become quite common and has found acceptance. Gay and lesbian relations (LBGTQ) are also getting acceptance. Personally I never felt any reason to oppose these somewhat new developments in Indian society . From high level society (money wise) it has now reached the common households . By now (its 2021) every ‘old’ one must have heard of atleast one or two ‘new’ ones living together without any formal commitment. As also gay/lesbian couples living happily in their circle.
Till now I held a supportive thought for live-ins, having a feeling that it avoids legal hassles of separation, since new ones hardly have patience and maturity to be together for long. And together they have to be, as everyone is exposed to this bug called ‘dating’. This starts as early as 13-14. Another new normal, it seems.
Doesn’t matter you have a degree or not but you do have an ‘ex’.
Doesn’t matter you have a job or not, but you do have an ‘ex’. This ex-factor is that new normal which keeps the millennials at high.
Now, I am forced to think that, as a whole, where is all this going? Where will this stop? This ex- factor has started becoming fatter from one to two to three. And with an ease they tell each other what’s their no.! Will marriage be the full stop? I don’t think so. Then the counting of ex goes to next level. You know what I mean – ex-husband, ex-wife.
This, definitely, is a matter of concern, especially to us who are still into old school of thoughts. Yes, my so called liberal views are falling short to cope with all this. See, how fast paced everything is becoming, more so in urban culture.
Somehow I never relish a discussion around the fact – in our times this used to be the norm (हमारे time में तो ऐसा था, हमारे ज़माने में तो ये नहीं था) 😀😀. So am not including that हमारे ज़माने vala flavour into the discussion.
My present dilemma is how to reach a state of mind where I know what is normal (acceptable), and from where to start registering my Nays/not acceptable.
Shall we start with teenagers? They keep visiting each other’s house. Even parents know that they are ‘dating ‘. We all know that they do find their blind spots in every school, college, garden, residential complex and perhaps in their homes, right under our nose. 😊 In rural India, may be fields etc.. I am not sure. This reminds me of the reality of today that rural millennial is also in its full bloom. Even less privileged ones ride in the same boat. And am not exaggerating here. In remote hilly villages 4G has already reached before roads and water line, and their teenagers are equally ‘modern’. This dating-bug, and ex-syndrom has spread everywhere very fast – courtesy social media, netflix etc.
In such a scenario, where a 13-14 years old mind is into all this, does ‘marriage’ as a social concept holds its old sanctity. Sanctity may be a heavy word, does marriage even has a meaning! It comes very late, generally around age 35. And virginity sees the out door almost 20 years before that. And, yet another syndrome – ‘abortion’ also is set to enter the category of new normal. What a complex social situation! At times a thought crosses my mind that perhaps our ancestors were wiser and practical. They had established a social norm of fixing marriage at 12-13 when puberty sets in and formalising it after18 or so ( gauna) types social setting. 🤔 This, definitely, is debatable. I have not thought much over this. Just a wandering thought it is.
Am talking my heart out and putting up my perspective. Everyone has its own perspective though. To me it feels we the old ones fail to keep pace with the speed of new ones. They all are fully westernised youth whereas we are still Indian parents. How to strike a balance is what am trying to sort out.
I encourage you all, old and new, to please share your views without inhibitions. 😊 Where else do we go for such discussions, I wonder. Please write individual blogs or share in the comments. Even an email is welcome at
p.s. – purposely am using words ‘old’, ‘new’, western, indian. Don’t know how else to differentiate.😊
Jai Shri Hari 🌹