I have been working from a very young age and I know the value of hard-earned money. Also, I was conditioned to believe that if you earn money, you earn the love and respect from people around. So I always wanted to earn, and so I did. I continued to do so after marriage too. Honestly, I earned and saved well that I was comfortable financially.
However, after motherhood I had to quit my job to take care of the newborn, along with my ailing bedridden mother-in-law. I was sad, agitated and angry most of the time, as I was not able to cope with this new routine that life threw at me.
I also believe in investing wisely, so I bought a policy for my daughter, where I needed to pay a big amount annually as premium. And I also financially support my uncle, who has been bedridden for the past 14 years. I was able to bear all these expenses for 4 years (without a job in hand, by spending from my savings. But now, the next premium was a tension for me as I had little money left.
I had worked hard for more than a decade, yet here I was— absolutely jobless with so many responsibilities for which, maybe, I was not mentally prepared.
Let me be honest, I have a very loving and understanding husband. We had a love marriage. But I never felt like asking him for any financial support, as I felt it would hurt my ego and he might think I am financially dependent on him and thus inferior to him or a burden on him. (What a fool I was!).
However this instalment was taking a toll on my mental health and I was unable to sleep for many nights. One day he asked me , “What is bothering you?”
I cried and told him everything… Why I wasn’t asking him for any help and what all I think.
He lovingly held me and said, “You have been suffering for so long, why wouldn’t you tell me!”
No prize for guessing that he took care of the premium, and also transferred a handsome amount in my bank account to take care of my expenses, for now he knew well that I don’t like to ask for money.
But what left me in tears were his words:
“Everyone is not born to earn hard cash. Some people are on this earth to make the life of others beautiful, and Shalini you are doing the same. You take care of us, the house, your own family, and counsel people, make YouTube videos, and still never complain. Our mothers never worked in any company but still they contributed so well to our lives. If everyone in the family will only be after earning money, there will be chaos everywhere without any emotional or spiritual investment. Everyone will fight for supremacy over who earns more, who deserves more respect, and egos will clash. Trust me, you are doing great in every role and we are equal partners in this journey.”
He absolutely changed my perspective with his kind words.
This is my first post here, and I want to tell all the women who had to let go of their careers after motherhood and felt depressed, that you are special and you are beautiful . There will be tough days but they are worth it as they will help you grow stronger, emotionally. And remember, your child is learning from you, so you are setting up a great example of a woman who is full of courage, strength and a master in time management.
To all the husbands out there, please value what your wife is doing for you, your child, and family. She, too, had dreams but she chose to let them go in order to make her family life beautiful.
And I now understand that money is just a medium to ensure the basic necessities of life, the world doesn’t revolve around it. It’s the love, kindness and understanding that’s needed for a balanced life.