Life is not easy for anyone. We know our own stories better than any other who has not experienced our struggles, lived these traumas. Comparing pains and hardships with each other is futile. 

On one hand where I have shed tears in grief, pain, fear, love and while laughing at silly jokes, on the other gratitude was something I never identified with. I would say ‘thank you’ because my parents told me it was etiquette. Never knew that recently gratitude will overwhelm me till my eyes flow and wash away my woes. Years of memories are suppressed in my little heart, mostly bad ones from a difficult childhood. They ebbed from my heart through my tears. Like a magnifying glass, these tears of gratitude forced me to confront my fears and to let go. 

Swami Ji is a miracle personified. I don’t want to jinx all those wonderful things which have happened lately. I could have attributed all these beautiful occurrences to pure luck, but it wouldn’t make sense. Sister Chantal blessed me with an incredible gift. She cannot be an ordinary woman. She says it happened by the wish of Swami Ji. I believe her. All is the wish of Swami Ji, and also the kind-hearted person you are, Chantal. I know that I cannot offer you anything since you are blessed by Swami Ji Himself

My Well Wisher, a noble person as you can only exist in dreams. My Well Wisher please reveal yourself to me. You must be My Benefactor. You have showered me with so much, so so much. Since your immense generosity of ‘direct support’ was revealed to me I was stunned. I couldn’t think. My mind went blank for the first time in my life. I wanted to write but I couldn’t. I wrote a letter then I had to delete it, I wrote a second and deleted it again. Finally, I’ll express myself the best I can.

Dearest Well Wisher, your blessing is holy to me. You have helped me in times when I can’t even bring myself to say. You are God for me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. But please do not feel that my ‘thank you’ ends here. They will never be enough. I tremble to think if only this is Swami Ji Himself. I am a simple guy, the kind of hope, the amount of positivity I received here, has taken grip in my heart only makes me think more strongly this way. Swami Ji, You are everything. You don’t need me, you are on a journey where mere mortals like me are still struggling to find their meaning in life. It is me who needs you more than before. The more I thank you, the more I want to thank you Swami Ji, my Benefactor and my Well Wisher.😭😭

Your servant, child, disciple

Sandeep. 

 

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