No doubt that sometimes people or situations are difficult but when we enter or stay stuck in a state of blame, judgment, and lack, it ends up leaving us powerless and bitter. Instead, taking ownership and self-responsibility towards our needs and state of mind empowers us to make positive life changes.
I love how Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith has explained the four stages of consciousness in his book ‘Life Visioning’ – Victim, Manifestor, Channelor, and Being. He says that as a victim, we feel powerless and defeated because of our belief that life’s events happen to us, and external factors determine our joy, success, and happiness. If we are in a victim state, we perceive life as painful and unfair, filled with people and circumstances that prevent us from having the life experience we want.
Oftentimes, a catalyst to this growth is either pain or insight. We get sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, but rather than continuing to ask ‘Why me?’, we seek a window of possibilities through becoming an active agent in our own life.
The process of moving from blame to self-responsibility might seem painful initially but so worth it (I can vouch for it) because it helps you take charge of your life and motivates you to be in acceptance vs resistance, make positive changes, or move away from what is no longer serving you.
If each person takes responsibility to live their version of a meaningful, joyful, and purposeful life then we also show up organically out in the world as better parents, spouses, or coworkers. This is one of the best gifts we give ourselves and others.