Recently, in my kid’s school, they gave a topic for the elocution competition. It was ‘What does freedom mean to me?’ It made me think, ‘Really, what is it?’ Is it to be able to do just what and how we want to do something, to be able to fulfill our desires so that we can seek pleasure? Might be upto a point. And then Medha ji gave the OSME Challenge to share our Freedom story. Was thinking what could be mine? And then it stuck me! For an extremely shy person, even as a kid who would always hesitate to speak up, ask questions in class, tell anyone what’s bothering me, even would not share my opinion in a group of people, it is the ability to express myself freely,is what freedom to me. To tell that I will have to take you through my previous part of life.
My first occupation as a Physiotherapist, where I tried doing all types of Jobs and also Private practice, something or the other went wrong. Had to leave the college where I was teaching( and also loving it) as we were supposed to go to US( for my husband’s IT project), but it turned out to be of a very short duration due to our Visa problem. Was asked to leave another job in a Gym as I was not contributing enough for their sales. Had to resignate from a slimming centre for my second pregnancy( but that was planned:) ). A Doctor for whom i was working tried to behave inappropriately, so left that practice right away. My Private practice too saw few glitches. So, I thought might be this one’s not for me and that hurt pretty badly. I totally lost confidence in myself , there was hardly any to begin with. I thought of all possible alternate career options, might be putting up a thela of pani puri😄but alas that was not supposed to be. I have stuck only at eating it by their side!
I then started learning Bollywood dance at the age of 34, as I used to love dancing even as a little girl, also during college days choreographing for my group in different events. And, in dance I found the medium to be able to express myself, to let go, to let me feel what I feel. Even that came after a few years of learning and then teaching dance, I had to nudge that extremely dormant inner self to let go. Phew…what a feeling! At last I overcame some of my tendencies like what people, my relatives, my students from the college I used to teach will think of me( how we think we are so important!) when i posted my videos on social media😀 So Dance has been a way to liberate me from few of my tendencies and so is writing here on OSME, though I have a looong way to go before I flush them out totally.
I never thought I might be able to share this slice of life in a go. But Swamiji makes everything happen through His Genius ways:) And I feel so light after doing so. I will be extremely truthful by saying that the Prize for the challenge ( the retreat) definitely motivated me to think about the topic and actually make the effort to write down my boring story. If you have read this till here, I am extremely grateful!
Everything I write here is only because of Swamiji’s Grace. My Pranam at His Lotus Feet🙏