Oh what I have lost
is unbearable…
You were there one moment
the next you were gone
In finding you
O Mother
I’ve lost you

You appeared like a vision
gold of gold
light of light
Oh what to make of those dark curls
a dancer’s grace
and the radiance of your face
these eyes had hardly
beheld your sight
and you were gone
even before a lone tear
could roll down my eye

I cried like a child
my loss was great
I could barely remember your face
unsure
of what I had seen…
you sprung from my heart
as if a place inside of me
Oh Divine Mother
what was that play
to have you
and lose you
behind the smoke of my mind

And then came the gifts
from places far flung
loved ones and strangers alike
Oh such beauty and bounty
flowed like water
through the day

Oh my darling Mother
and yet
I felt your loss acutely
in the aching of my heart
was a new pain
had I found you at last
Or lost you again

Now you stand so close
still and of stone
dark and gleaming
Your presence
enigmatic and beaming
if I reach out I can
touch your feet
your hand
but it’s not the same
now you are an idol inanimate
and I a girl by your feet

Oh Mother, why have you stolen yourself from me…

19/08/21

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Sadhvi Vrinda Om

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