My Journey to Spirituality-

I have been a seeker and still am, but I stopped asking books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul. RUMI

My Journey to Spirituality-

When I first entered the temple, I used to talk. I used to say things, cry, complain, demand, beg and pray. But then, by and by, it felt foolish. I am talking to him and I am not giving him any chance, any opportunity for him to talk to me. It is better to listen; when we are before the supreme energy, it is better to listen.” So I dropped talking. By and by, I dropped all prayer. I would just go in to the temple and sit silently, but in my silence there were also words inside. I was not using them outside, but inside they were revolving. I was alone, but it felt like there was three of me, the thoughts, the listener and the observer. The question kept arising, “aren’t I just one person?” It was through this self-actualization that I started to become aware of my thoughts as soon as they arose and once this happened I was no longer my thought, but I was the observer. I only became my thoughts when I attached to them. My life was transformed. So, by and by, I also had to drop the words inside – then only listening became possible. Then I entered a totally different dimension – of listening, of passivity, of receptivity. Then I became absolutely silent; and stopped going to the temple. Now I have learned what temple means; it only means to be silent and to be listening. That can be done anywhere, and it is better to do it somewhere else because temples nowadays has become a place for noise and chattering. They disturb me. It is better under a tree. It is better under the sky. The temple is greater there, more natural. And if we have to be silent, then God is everywhere. This is when I became aware of the soundless sound — the sound that is uncreated, the sound that has always been there, the sound of existence itself. It is surrounding us; it is within us, we are made of it. I realized that Listening is all that meditation is about — how to listen to that which is already there. Listening is totally different from hearing. Listening is hearing without mind; without any interference of our thoughts; as if we are totally empty. If we have even a small trembling of thinking inside, waves of subtle thoughts surrounding us, we will not be able to listen, although we will be able to hear. And to listen to the eternal music, one needs to be totally quiet — as if one is not. When we are, we can hear; when we are not, we can listen. We need to be in such a deep silence that being becomes almost equivalent to non-being, that the boundaries between being and non-being disappear. We are, and yet in a certain sense we are not; we are not and yet in a certain sense, for the first time, we are. When thought is not disturbing us…. just being. Suddenly we become aware of a music that has always surrounded us. Suddenly it enters from everywhere. We are overwhelmed and possessed. We will not be able to know-truth unless we have become capable of listening to the soundless sound. This music is the very heartbeat of existence; the very door of existence. This music is the bridge and riding on this music, will we enter the kingdom of God. It has been heard; I have heard it, we can hear it. Nobody except our self is hindering. We are missing only on our own account. There is no wall between us and the music; even if there is it is only of our own thoughts. And even then the music goes on penetrating us. We may not listen to it but it goes on massaging our whole being, nourishing us, giving us life and rejuvenating us.

My search will continue until I get it. For the sake of this search I am ready to stake everything. It is only a matter of time.

Swadesh