It’s not that the Guru Poornima came for the first time in 33 years of my life. But there is something special about it for the first time. After my initiation by Swami Ji Guru Poornima has become more meaningful.
I never had any idea what a Guru-Disciple relationship is about. Never thought of having Guru till I was 30 years of age. My spiritual journey began in the year 2013 , when I started with the basic meditation as suggested by my Brother. Slowly and steadily urge began to know more about myself. After practicing meditation for few years I felt the need of Guru in a human form.The question came to my mind while searching for a Guru was how and where I will find him? Along with the question came the answer that when the time will come he will appear. As making a Guru is a one time affair for me. I made my mind that in this life I will have only one Guru in human form.
While scrolling kindle book store I found a book written by Swami Ji. Went through the reviews I thought to buy it. After buying and reading his book I found him very genuine and knowledgeable. His wisdom was imbibed in words. Only someone who have gain knowledge through his own experience can write such a masterpiece. I began searching for Ashram details. After seeing that it is bit far and I had not much confidence in myself for what was going in my mind I drop the plan.
I forgot it for a while but the thought was deep in my subconscious. So after a year I again made my mind to visit Ashram. I even requested for initiation for which I got a reply that I have to wait a little longer and before initiation I have to meet Swami Ji once.
In 2019 it was my first visit to Sri Badrika Ashram. As there was no direct train I reached Delhi by bus after traveling at night. In morning I took a train till Ambala .From Ambala to Chandigarh by bus again.It was my first trip so I had no idea how to reach Ashram. An auto guy approached me and said that he has seen Ashram(which was a lie) and can take me there. So can you believe it I reached Ashram by an Auto in around 6 hours.
My meeting was fixed next day in the morning. It was a group meeting, in which I think I alone took 2 minutes of Swami Ji. When he asked everyone that is there any question. I raised my hand and in no time handed him my email copy that I received for initiation. Swami Ji explained Guru-Disciple relationship is something very close to his heart. He asked me to come next year. It was like someone took back a piece of bread from the hungry child. As if it was the end of the world for me. But than I told myself that Swami Ji knows what is best for me. I kept consoling myself. After coming back I use to cry often that why did Swami Ji not accepted me as his disciple. One day I came through a Video in which I think I got my answer that Swami Ji ask us to wait for an year so we can prepare ourselves.
One day one of a very close devotee of Swami Ji forwarded me initiation request form. Tears started flowing from my eyes as I felt it was Swami Ji who has sent me this . I applied and my meeting was fixed a day after Mahashivratri. After celebrating it I was eagerly waiting to meet Swami Ji early morning. Got up very early meditated for a while,after following the Ashram morning routine sat outside waiting eagerly for my turn to come.
After meeting Swami Ji and after my Level 1 initiation I felt a sense of completeness. Felt like this after years. There was so much of peace within which made me feel that as if everything was falling back into its place. I know that I can never repay what Swami Ji has given me. I can feel his presence in my life. Just hope in my heart that I maybe able to follow his footsteps, may give honour to my Guru by leading a life of compassion, service and righteousness. I dont know whether I will be able to find my truth , a sense of doubt overcome my mind at times. A restless child of Mother Divine who knows that she only gave me such a wonderful Guru and I have faith in my Guru that he will guide me to find myself and to Maa to whom we all belong.