(Note: This post is a little scattered one as the memories have somewhat faded)
In 2014, when I was in 7th class, I tried to do meditation on account of many factors. One summer evening, I was sitting under the harsingar (aka parijaat) tree, I asked myself questions such as, “What am I doing? Where am I heading? What’s the purpose of all this.” I was not satisfied with myself and my behaviour. That year I also befriended the person who is now my bestie. We used to discuss on topics such as telepathy, hypnotism, etc. There was one more incident. There was a workshop in our school to advertise the mid brain activation program. I couldn’t join due to high fees, so I decided to meditate at home. I also got to see a few episodes of DKDM, wanted to watch but desire remained unfulfilled. That year, I also started reading few verses of Gita every morning and slowly realized that Yog was much more than physical and breathing exercises. On the other hand, I also started facing hormonal play which gave me relaxation as well as guilt.
During that time, I had no access to internet at home, so I was just experimenting. I would sit cross legged and would ask my sister to disturb me. I tried to sit still undisturbed. Sometimes I would lie down and try to feel my different body parts, which I later found was a part of Yog nidra. I used to visualise a lot. I would visualise two rocks coming from left and right side and colliding, producing an energy surge that I absorbed. Another was of an ocean becoming still, and one was a big ball of energy. I also imagined a blur black form of a yogi sitting in mid air, hands on knees in gyan mudra. One or two times I tried tratak.
But I remained arrogant. There was hardly any true spiritual growth. On one occasion my mother shouted which was somewhat like, “Kya khana khana, thoda bhi sabar nhi hai.” I also became furious and decided I would not ask for food even if I was hungry. There’s a bigger reason behind this, when we control our hunger, our bhuta agni increases. Just as jathara agni digests food, bhuta agni is mental fire that digests knowledge. Strong bhuta agni means ability to understand things quickly. Now I seldom feel really hungry.
I still remember once a rahasya type of show on a news channel showed about mystery of kundalini. If awakened, it could give supernatural powers, etc. In this way, I was introduced to one more unknown word.
At an another level, I got that nose allergy that I discussed in a previous post and in 2015 I got ulcers in my stomach which was followed by a course of allopathic medicines. Minor injuries, bruises, cuts, wounds have been a constant companion.
In 2015, International Yoga Day was declared and due to the publicity of yoga, I learnt some asanas. I also expanded my visualizations. In July, Ghanshyam Uncle visited us for the first time as he lived in a different city. He had come for 2-3 days stay for her daughter’s competitive exam. He was a Devi Sadhak. He meditated in morning and used to listen to Durga Saptashati. Her daughter radiated divinity. Before he departed, all the bhajans from his mobile were copied to our pc, which included Durga Saptashati by Pt Somnath Sharma.
In 2015, Kumbh was also organised. As usual, News channels telecasted the happenings. One Saturday morning, between 8-9 am, I was taking out the cycle and TV was on. Suddenly a music plucked some unknown strings deep down my heart and I stopped.