My infinite salutations at your divine lotus feet Swamiji 🙇♀️💐 Immense gratitude for everything 🙏🙏
First part here.
Not everyone will be as lucky as me one should agree, without any resistance from anyone I was all set to renounce everything and join the Math.
If something happens according to you so easily, without any resistance, will it work? Any guess how long I stayed there? Read on..
Now that I had few days left to join, I had to clear off many things. I gave away my clothes (usable). Bought white sarees and got blouses stitched. I told in paying accomodation that I am going to vacate on so and so date.
I had a tvs scooty, I was not sure what to do with it, I thought if I take it to the Math it may be of some use there, so I decided not to dispose it.
There was a plot(site) which I was planning to buy in Mysore, I had paid two installments and it was time for me to pay the next one. I told my father, I will not pay further installments please let someone else take it. You see, I was serious about my renunciation!!! On the other side my father getting furious for my foolish decisions 😔
Apart from my parents and my project lead(as she was close to me and as i had to take permission) I had not told anyone about all these.
Day arrived, just couple of sarees in a bag, on my scooty, I reached the Math!!.
It has been more than 14 years now, I don’t remember exact details of what happened each day, but I will try to sum it up..
What was I thinking? Was I thinking I will sit and meditate all day and night? Even if it was allowed, can I even sit for few minutes when I have never meditated even for 5 minutes? Or I was just trying to escape from code crashes and all the tensions? Was it a true spiritual quest or just escapism?
Till the day I joined the Math my quest was true, my feelings were true, with utmost sincerity I had joined, but it didn’t take long, to realise I am not prepared yet. May be there was a small amount of escapism too can’t deny it😬😬
All sannyasins would address head of the Math as Mataji🙏🙏 She was 80 years then. I told her, I will stay for one month and see if I can continue, she agreed and supported me throughout🙏🙏. I was given a guest room, with attached bathroom and few instructions for the next day.
Day for everyone started at 4.30 a.m , since I was a newbie it was 5.a.m, I was given lot of such special considerations😌. All sannyasins must and should gather in the pooja mandir and meditate from 4.30 to 6.a.m(as I recall)
All dispersed after 6a.m to do their daily chores, all got busy through out day. Sweeping, mopping and dusting the premises, which was kept speck and clean all the time. Plucking flowers for pooja, preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, washing utensils, gardening, looking after the library, inventory, teaching in school (there is a primary school run by the Math) these are few to name.
So my day started at 5a.m, went to mandir and tried to meditate. My meditation was mostly looking around and getting awed by all the beautiful and gorgeous sannyasins, clad in white and ochre.. trust me all were very beautiful, I was wondering why on earth they are here😊😊. Distinction in CA, distinction in engineering, great singers, tabla players, all were extremely talented!! All together there were 20 to 25, most of them were in early 20s. Youngest one was 15yrs old studying in 10th if I remember correctly, she was supposed to give her board exams and eldest being Mataji🙏🙏. All were very kind hearted and treated me friendly. Some became really close in short span I stayed there.
After finishing my meditation on all the lovely sannyasins, I too would go about doing my assigned task, I used sweep, mop and do the dusting. Then bathing, attend the pooja, breakfast and then helping in washing utensils etc..
After lunch there will be study time, where all would be taught sanskrit and then again continue with other work. Evenings will be pooja, bhajans, and meditation for an hour. And dinner, after dinner we all would gather in Mataji’s room, she would tell us so many short stories of Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa and Sri Sharada Devi. And then we would go to bed around 11pm.
I would be in tears listening to the bhajans, such soulful and melodious singing in bhakti, and bhaav🙏🙏 cannot be expressed in words, really.
Mataji used to call me ‘Sundri’ (means beauty), not that I was beautiful or anything, but out of affection.
One day she asked me if I have a mirror, I had not taken anything with me, she gave me her mirror, she gave me a bhajan book which she had with her and a photo of the trio(Sri Ramakrishna, Sri Sharada Devi and Swami Vivekananda).
(Mirror broke years later but other two things I have it in my house, photos of which I will update here once I go back home, I am in my native place currently.)
What went wrong then? It was the most conducive environment for a spiritual growth. What made me just runaway in 7 days?
Few lessons from my life, soon… Stay tuned…
Jai Sri Hari🙏🙏💐