On 12th April, 2021, while reading posts, I mentally took a sankalp for Navratri, which was commencing from nnextday, “I won’t visit os.me for nine days of navratri.” I take simple sankalpas during navratri to test myself. Another one is “I won’t speak before taking a bath.” (This one requires you to be very mindful, if you take this, nature will create situations to test your resolve. When I first took this in 2019, I failed within 2-3 days 😁. This is easy if you bath at 5-5.30 in morning like me 😀)
So, this sankalpa was a strange one, right? But it was what my inner voice demanded, and so I did it. It is easy to give up what we don’t like but it is very difficult to give up what we like. I wanted to test my self control.
However, it was not so easy. The very first day, I had cravings. The desire to login was increased by 2 comments by Diya ji in my mailbox. Next day, one of my old posts was featured, I wanted to thank os.me team but I adhered to my sanlkalpa. Then there were 6-7 comments on different posts. The mind obviously wanted to reply, but I slowly learnt to control this. The mind said, “What will everyone think? You are so rude.” But I learnt to ignore this. Moreover, I visited os.me 4 times in my dreams reading posts 😛 !
Effects : I was left with much less spiritual food and relied on what I already had through experience and what my inner voice said. It created a sort of void, as my connection with outer world was reduced very much. I am not active on social media. Gmail account is required for everything and what’s app is just kept for college online studies. Except these two, I have no other social media account so I am much free from social media toxic.
My focus shifted to inner world. I realized a few things, there were a few expereiences, and most importantly, I got some clues for my further journey. I have not discovered my truth yet, but I have a blur path in front of me to discover. As such there is never a perfect path for anything in life. But if you are willing, nature will show you some path and if you walk sincerely, the path will unfold as you walk through it. Now there are much less fears and more faith. I feel as if I am returning from a peroid of solitude.
And I missed you all a lot 😀. I missed Swami’s saturday post and saturday video, Vrinda ji’s Tandav series, Meera ma’s humourous posts (which are sometimes very yummy 😋) , Supriya didi’s posts which always touch my heart, Akshay bhai’s series on upanishads, Aditya ji’s short but intelligent posts, Komal ji’s insightful posts which have added flavour of humour, Vedant’s deep and insightful poems, Hetal ji’s wise posts and sunday musings, Biswa ji’s series on depression and many more wise posts by many other authors. It’s like getting a treasure of knowledge.
Bit of maths (who likes maths ?): Considering 6 posts per day for 9 days we get 6×9=54 posts. If we consider extra posts on holidays, we get more than 60 posts. Considering 3-5 mins reading time per post, it becomes 180-300 mins or 3-5hr reading time for all posts! Will soon catch up with all these posts 😀 and will soon be replying to the comments.
Overall, it was a nice experience but I don’t think I will take this particular sankalpa again .
In Swami’s words, I am walking my own path, discovering my own truth.
Photo by Souvik laha from Pexels