My mind has been a whirlwind for the past three years. Struggling with spirituality had never been a struggle for me. But these last few years have left me in disarray. Grown up in a family where dharma and devotion are a part and parcel of everyday life,I have an indelible bond with God. Since I feel I am connected to God directly,I can think of no reason to invest my faith in any spiritual Guru. No offense but yeah,it is hard these days given the controversial tabs.
Yet one must have a Guru as my grandmother used to say ‘Guru Bina Gati Nai’. So I never miss an opportunity to read books,watch reels related to any Guru.
My actual struggle in spirituality began when I came to know that lighting the Jyot everyday is nothing more than a chore for some. Or going to the temple is just a charade people carry to exhibit themselves as devotional. Or reading scriptures is a wastage of time. Or worse, telling or discussing the mythological tales is no more than an exaggeration of how the hypocrites live.
I was DEVASTATED. AGHAST!
It is then when my struggle with spirituality began. Before it all I knew that Dharma is the essence of life. One exists if dharma is steadfast. It is mere devotion and faith with which this world works and lives. Living and spending days without paying obeisance is nothing but living a life full of sins.
But now I struggled with spirituality. It took me more than 3 years yo get back on track. Still I am lingering.
I was on the crossroads. Should I consider the fact that dharma these days is hollow or should I remain steadfast in my approach that is us who can upheld dharma?
Should I believe that going to the temple is nothing but a mirage or should I remain intact with my devotion?
Should I stop keeping faith in my daily religious rituals or should I bear in my mind that it is with those daily religious rituals that I can improve my karma?
A struggle with spirituality-a struggle I never thought I would be a part of. Yet I wasted a lot of my time by putting my trust in people who themselves are on the crossroads in life.
All in all,I understood that for some faith is about discipline,for others faith is devotion. But for me faith is the air I breathe in,the vibes I inhale and exhale and the purpose of my life.
This article was written for the writing workshop on MY STRUGGLE WITH SPIRITUALITY organized by Medha Shri. Day 3