It has been a couple of weeks since I started reading the Vedanta by A. Parthasarathy. I even attend Vedanta classes, wherein time and again, our Teacher keeps emphasizing how developing a strong intellect will help one overcome all kinds of agitations. While I thoroughly enjoy these classes, and even studying the Vedanta – practising it is… to put it mildly – quite a pain. 

For instance, close to two weeks back, I had to go get some stamps and couple of paperwork done as it is tax filing season in India. Especially the salaried class reading this would agree with how annoying the activity of tax submission can be. Anyways, the Income Tax department does not give a damn about what I feel, and so I stepped out to get this work done. I was in a hurry, I was anxious about not missing out any documents, and the place I had to visit was new to me. I booked an Uber, got into it, and started thinking how much time the entire work will take – and what other chores are set for the day.

The moment I reached the destination, I hopped off the auto and started almost running towards the building. It was a crowded street, and I was trying to cross the road safely – when all of a sudden, I hear the auto driver yell – OOOOO excuse me madummmmm

I turned around. For a person whose day had not started on a very happy note, I knew staying quiet is the best way to go forward. I just stood next to him. The auto driver was agitated – he said, “Just jumping away is not enough!! You need to stand till I stop the ride, so that we both know how payment is being done.” The driver went out to be ruder in his mannerisms.

I just shook my head in agreement – did not say a word… He figured it is online payment – which is majorly how most cabs/ autos are paid at least in Bangalore. The driver waited for me to say something – I did not, he mellowed a bit – his tone not so harsh anymore.

I meandered through the congested road and made my way to get the work done.

But wait a minute – The shouting which I received from the driver, made me open the Uber app and give a low rating to the driver for his behavior. (Yes, this is how egoistic I am).

I went around finishing my work, with the irritated driver’s words playing in the background. So many times, it appalls me how my brain manages to function with so much clutter and noise in the background. By the time, I was done with my work – partly relieved that at least this is over – a thought just arouse in my conscience.

Was the driver really wrong in asking me to not just go away? – NO

Could he have been more polite? – Well, what if just like me, he too is not having the best of the mornings?

I could have mentioned that payment would be online to avoid this situation. – YES

Was it harsh on my part to give him a low rating on the app? – YES

Where was my intellect? Why could not I let go of such a small altercation? Why did I let my mind/ emotions just react the way I did? What is the use of having such a fragile ego?

By the time I was back home, I decided that even though until that morning none of the cab wallahs had any problem with me just jumping off the vehicle and online payment doing the rest – I will now on always mention that it is an online payment before leaving the vehicle. I also thought of going back and reviewing my rating of the auto driver. Unfortunately, I could not change the rating which only made me rethink my behavior. I did not shout back at the driver. I did not even utter a syllable. What I rather did is made it official that I was not OK with his behavior (which could have been ignored), so that in future the chances of him being paired with me for a ride is almost zero. This is not how one grows. This is not what I have been learning from Vedanta. Long way to go Neha, is all I could tell myself.

Cut Two

Last week, I had to take an Uber auto as I was meeting my friend. It was a long ride on a sunny afternoon. The driver was on a call with his family, checking with his kid if he had lunch or not. I was happy to hear this conversation. The traffic was exceptionally less, and the ride was fine. And then I notice how the driver did not take the usual route and opted for a rather longer route. I asked him why he did this? No reply. I asked the question a bit louder. No reply, again. Then I leaned a bit forward and tapped on his shoulder – only to see that this driver was watching videos on YouTube while driving. 

The driver answered back saying there is traffic on the usual route. I knew he was making up for missing the turn. I asked him to focus on the road and not YouTube. To which he innocently replied YES. But then kind of continued balancing his driving and video watching skills. I reached my destination scared and a little late.

This was not OK. Such drivers are playing with the lives of the passengers is what I thought. If I complained, it might affect this driver in a negative manner – who sometime back was checking on his little kid. I did not scold him or fight with him. At the same time, I was not OK with this careless attitude of his. By the next day, I spoke to Uber customer care about how drivers should not be doing this.

Within two days I get a call back from the Uber team informing how the driver partner will be educated on this – I was fine with this solution, as somewhere I did not want anything harsh to happen to that driver, who I felt is a loving father as well.

By evening the amount of the ride was credited back to my account – This meant the driver lost his share of money. Now this is not something I ever wanted. I felt bad that someone lost his money. This was the company’s way of highlighting what a serious issue it is to watch videos while driving. Yet even today I feel the driver might be upset about this loss.

I do not know what to do – Except to pray that I get better hold of my emotions and Uber provides me with more sensible driver partners.