I’m always shocked at how brutal and mean people are to themselves with their self-talk:

  • They criticize and berate themselves anytime they make a mistake.
  • They compare themselves to everyone around them, usually in the worst possible light.
  • And they devalue and minimize their many positive qualities too

While there are many reasons people develop such harsh, negative self-talk, the result is always the same — you end up feeling awful about yourself.

Things don’t cause us to feel bad; it’s our thoughts about things that determines how we feel. Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend. The next time you feel bad, imagine a good friend felt the same way and came to you for support and advice… What would you say to them?

If they had made a mistake at work, would you tell them how stupid that was and how they’ll never make anything of themselves? Of course not! You’d be compassionate. You’d help them take a balanced perspective and tell a realistic story about the mistake.

Chances are, you’re pretty compassionate with other people in your life, so why not be that way with yourself?

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Divyansh Mahajan

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