Q. In your memoir, you write that before you were born, it was predicted that you would become a saint. You must have faced a lot of hurdles and still, you ruthlessly kept moving on and spoke the truth. So, is it something that is coming from your previous life, that is taking you ahead?
Ans. The reason I am ruthless when it comes to speaking the Truth, the reason why I don’t have any reservations or inhibitions about what people would think of me, is because, it is not the first time I am doing it. But, I did not see it earlier. See, the prediction that was made, I didn’t about know it. My mother did not tell me until after she saw me as a Sanyaasi. I had no idea whether something like that has been told to her about my birth. I didn’t know. But, those tendencies were there.
शरीरं यदवाप्नोति यच्चाप्युत्क्रामतीश्वर: |
गृहीत्वैतानि संयाति वायुर्गन्धानिवाशयात् ||
As the air carries fragrance from place to place, so does the embodied soul carry the mind and senses with it, when it leaves an old body and enters a new one.
Just like air carried the fragrance as it moves, similarly, the tendencies of the consciousness take the soul forward.
There was one question I had in my mind, after my realisation, I said something to Mother Divine. I want to tell you one thing : I am not God. A lot of people see me as God, and pray to me like that, but I am making it clear for those people. But, if that is the Truth that I am not God, then this is also the Truth that “I come at my own will, and I leave at my own will. I have no bondage with this world. Neither with any philosophy, nor with any person”.
So, I said to Mother Divine, “In my 100 lifetimes on this planet, I do not see even 1 incident”, and please pay attention to this, it’s a very big thing which I am going to say, and I can put my hand on my heart and say this : “In my 100 lifetimes, there is not even 1 incident where I harmed anybody, putting my own interest in front. Not even 1 incident in my 100 lifetimes, where I gave anyone any grief, knowingly. Tell me, why did I go through, what I went through at Naga baba’s place for four and a half months? What is the reason that I had to see that thing at Naga baba’s place which I had not even imagined in my entire life?”. I lived like a dog, I lived like a beggar. There were times when I was totally unwanted. I was used to so much of love and so much of respect that I didn’t know that it was possible to have an existence where you are totally unwanted, rejected and where you are not loved at all. I didn’t know any other emotion, other than love, in my life. Even, I want to tell about those relationships and stuff (asked in a previous question), I never pursued anybody. I have never chased any girl. I never asked anybody that give me your phone number, or come to my house etc etc. Never. Not even once in my whole life.
My view was very simple : If I had something, and you wanted it, you can have it. Some wanted companionship, some wanted money, some wanted job, some wanted Visa etc. I said, “Whatever you want, you can take it. If I have it, then you can take it”.
So, I said to Mother Divine, “In my 100 lifetimes, I am not able to recall a single incident when I intentionally caused grief to someone. So, tell me, what happened? It cannot be Karma, because had it been Karma, I would have seen it myself. It was not because of Karma, that I went through that life for four and a half months”. Then, Maa said something beautiful. She said : “Sometimes, you have to make certain arrangements, before the coming of certain people”. I came here, you made certain arrangements: Video, Audio, Couch etc. Sometimes, part of the arrangement is during your lifetime, and some arrangements are there before you are born, and some of it is after you are gone. She said that, the amount of Tapas that I required, either for 65 years, I would have done it myself, or, She would have sent me somewhere, where I would walk away with 65 years of Sadhana in four and a half months. Because, Naga baba had done 65 years of Tapas. It was only towards the very end of His life, that things became the way it did. But, He was a very good Tapaswi (Ascetic). He did Sadhana all His life, He became a Sadhak when He was 9 years old.
So, in four and a half months, Nature gave me that thing, which otherwise, I would have earned in 65 years.
So yes, those tendencies were there. But, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have those tendencies. That doesn’t mean that you are far away from God. But, if you don’t walk on that path, how will you get to know it? So, everybody has to start somewhere.
And I believe, it doesn’t matter how old you are, how old your body is, if you stay on course, You CAN have an experience of God, in this very lifetime. One who is ready to walk on the path, for Him/Her, Realisation is not far away. There is a bhajan (devotional song) where it is said : “If the call to Divine has compassion in it, then Dwaraka isn’t far away”. Generally, in our call to Divine, there isn’t compassion, rather, there is grief. In most people’s prayers, there are complaints : “I don’t get this, this didn’t happen to me, or first, you do this, this, this, then I will cry only for you”. This doesn’t work with God. Had He been a shopkeeper, maybe He would listen. But, He is God and it doesn’t work with Him.
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