People tell me I’m good at math. That may be because I’m a seventh-grader in a ninth-grade Geometry class. I’ve taken online courses on advanced Algebra because my school can’t find teachers to teach those classes. Therefore, I am bored out of my mind!

When I was looking at a formula in my math notebook, I had a “brilliant idea” (a lot of sarcasm in it). I noticed that we could turn them into a set of formulae to handle various situations in life. I’m trying my hand at that right now.

Quadratic Formula

The formula: x = -b ± √(b^2 – 4ac) / 2a

What does that mean in a mathematical sense? Google search “Quadratic Formula” and you’ll find out. I don’t want to bore anybody explaining it. Instead, let me convert the variables into the quadratic “life” formula. Here:

  • x = Happiness
  • a = Pain
  • b = Failure
  • c = Competition
  • Square Root (√) = Good and Kind Acts

Our task is to find x. That is, we need to find happiness. But how?

The formula starts with -b. Here, b represents failure. Failure is just a perspective. Happiness is in how we look at life. To feel happy, we must negate the thoughts of failures from the mind (-b). 

The next section of the formula says √(b^2 – 4ac):

  • b is failures. It’s the new failures we face each day. They grow fast (b^2).
  • a represents pain, and c is competition (both healthy and unhealthy). Our pains get multiplied due to the feeling of competition. Together, they feel terrible (4 times ac). To feel happy, we must negate both the effects of pain and the feeling of competition (-4ac).
  • Removing pain and stopping competition makes new failures feel lesser. Still, failures keep coming. They become insecurities. So, we reduce (square root) them with good and kind acts. That is indicated as √(b^2 – 4ac).

Even after handling failures and removing insecurities, we are left with the weak remnants of those. So, the formula says divide by 2a. a is pain and it gets multiplied by 2. What is this pain? The pain of doing meditation. We must take this pain to make ourselves better. 

So, the quadratic “life” formula for happiness is

  • Take out thoughts of failure from the mind.
  • Throw insecurities out the window with good and kind acts.
  • Handle the pain of meditation to make ourselves better.

Equation Solved!


Pythagorean Theorem

The formula: a^2 + b^2 = c^2

This is a formula to take yourself to a higher level. Here, c is happiness. So, c^2 is elation.

a represents elevating practices. b is external help. This formula states that with the help of some elevating practices (a^2) and external help (b^2), we can feel elated.


Riemann-Zeta Function

The formula: ζ(s) = 1 + 2^−x + 3^−x + 4^−x + ⋯

This formula gives you the method to achieve Nirvana and happiness. Here, the Greek symbol Zeta (ζ ) stands for Nirvana and s for happiness.

The number 1 (in the formula) represents our good actions. The equation after that (2^−x + 3^−x + 4^−x + ⋯) stands for the butterfly effect.

The butterfly effect is a part of chaos theory. According to it, for every good action we perform, we get back goodness. That good action causes a chain reaction. So, performing good and kind acts is the path to Nirvana or happiness!


I hope you learned something from this post. I certainly did. Here’s what I learned: life is simple, but we have developed ways to complicate it. Hopefully, these pseudo-formulas will do us some good. Whether in geometry class or for self-realization, I don’t know. 

This is Rishi for you, over and out! 😊