We all get angry at some point of time. While we strive to be mindful, calm, gentle, in control of ourselves, there are always occasions when we lose our cool and burst out.

I’ve had a history of outbursts – from small ones to SUPER-LARGE ones. Over time, the frequency and intensity have reduced considerably. Yet, there are times, especially when work stress builds up, when I do lose my head.

Here is some analysis from my past few ones.

1)      Most outbursts aren’t even on the person/s who are related to the cause of the stress. Some innocent victim bears the brunt of the stress one allows to build up.

2)      The worst impact of the outburst is actually on oneself.

3)      An angry outburst is followed by several reactions within oneself:

a.       Guilt

b.       Ego

c.       Blame

d.       Complaint

e.       Loss of confidence

On the path to leading a mindful life, I arrived that the below ‘formula’ to get over the aftermath of an outburst quickly.

1)      Accept yourself – Get rid of the guilt. We are all human. While it may not have been right to get angry and hurt someone, what’s done has been done and there is no point crying over spilt milk.

2)      Accept the Other Person/s – They are human too and subject to the emotional waves we all go through.

3)      Accept the Situation – Lots of issues are completely beyond our control. While things may not be as one would like them to be, acceptance opens the mind to ways of making the best of a given situation.

4)      Apologize – The best way to put down one’s ego is to apologize. Easier said than done. The ego is a formidable opponent. But an apology goes a long way. Ideally, it ought to be genuine. But even a pretense apology is good enough to start with till it grows and becomes a genuine habit.

5)      Look Ahead – Action is a big healer. Once you know you have taken restorative steps, things look positive both within and outside.

Accept – Apologize – Look Ahead.

This should work for any out-of-control situation and help get over those negative sentiments that can pull one down.

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Subhash Iyer

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