I lie by the ocean, assuming I am a grain of white sand in the vast expanse of dunes. The wind blows me away wherever it wishes, the tide tosses me however it wants. Wheels, sneakers and flipflops trample me many a times, casting their grooves on the flimsy skin of mine. In mornings, the sun smiles at me warm and sweet, and in the noons, it scorches me with all might. Gentle kids build castles out of me, and then violent ones come kicking at me.
I absorb them all – the water, the wind and the sun, not out of love, but simply because I have no other option. I am a silent victim, vulnerable to everything and everyone out there in the open. Remember, I am just a grain of white sand lying by the ocean…
Often, I stare at the ocean as far as my tiny eyes can stretch…it glitters like a million diamonds beautifully spread, it exudes a surreal tranquility despite the giant waves that constantly swell on its surface. It roars majestically as if extending an open invitation to enter and explore its hidden realms. It always entices me, feels so familiar and mine. Yet somehow I believe that we are different, very distinct, separate entities of space and time. It is my destiny to lie on the shore, to live through ages the life of sand and watch the ocean from a distance.
Why then can’t I stop gazing at the blue ocean? Why does it pull at my heart and make me yearn? Why do I desperately pray to drown and dissolve in it for all times to come? Isn’t it my folly to harbour such a desire, for how can the Ocean and sand ever be one?
One morning while I am fast asleep, You come stealthily and catch me unaware. I feel your soft sprinkle on my face, your whisper in my ears. No longer are you roaring from afar, for we are way past the invitation phase now. You have come, you yourself have come to carry me into You…to take me Home. I don’t know what to do, what to say, how to respond? Have you truly come? Or is it a dream or my hallucination? Or is it You indeed?
Yes, it is You, it has to be You, I know… because no dream can ever be as beautiful as You are! My soul clearly recognises the magic of Your presence!
My heart explodes and I start crying profusely for there’s no way I can contain the deluge of emotions brewing inside. But where are my tears, I can’t see or feel them anymore ; they are merging into you, you are absorbing them with a benign smile; all I see, feel and know is You. The moment I had been waiting for has finally arrived! Little by little, I had started giving my heart and soul to You, and today I will give up everything, my whole being, my whole existence and merge in You forever. But is that possible? Can a grain of sand dissolve in the Ocean?
As my heart begins to sink in doubt, a sudden wave sweeps through every pore, every atom of mine, drowning me, washing away my existence bit by bit. I look at myself only to see that I am indeed dissolving in You, becoming You.
Stupefied as I am at this miracle, you reveal in that deep, hypnotic voice of Yours, the mystery so subtle :
” You never were the sand you assumed to be
You were a salt crystal
Crafted with my own hands out of my very own being
Destined to return to me
To merge into me
To become me.
Listening to your incessant prayers
No longer could I bear staying afar
I had to rush for the love in your heart
To make you realise, you’re the whole and not just a part.
The wait is over, now the moment has come
For the little salt crystal to become the Ocean. “