Have you ever just looked into the mirror, stood, and stared at the strange form that appeared on the shiny surface? It’s hard enough for me to think that this is me on the outside, let alone even imagine what assumptions others have ignorantly made up about me. It’s as if I live in two different worlds- one that’s inside- where I live in freedom and joy- free to express my thoughts and emotions to all, like a bubbly little child that never grows up. Whereas, on the outside, I have to be a completely different person. A steady individual who has to abide by all of society’s rules and practices, and the view that others mould up about me, no longer depends on my thoughts and actions or words, instead on what others have heard about me. One needs to act their age- the society’s rules made by none other than the society itself. And to not follow the society’s rules will lead to loss of reputation in the eyes of none other than the great society itself. And now that I stare at this long paragraph, I realise that to become the person that one is on the inside on the outside as well, there is only one thing to be done.
Stop giving a damn about what others think.
If you literally begin to become what others hope and expect you to be, you’ll end up being no one and everyone at the same time. An average human being experiences 62000 thoughts per day. From what I see around me, I’m guessing, or rather assuming (might as well use a more scientific word, if I’m talking about surveys) that 90% of these thoughts are about what others do.
About Arjun’s new car, Ram’s family trip to the forest and Bheem’s training in the gym. Most of us are so preoccupied about what others are doing rather than simply enjoying the moment. Oh, and that- what others will think.
‘Don’t do that. What will Roshni aunty think?’
‘Don’t wear that. It’s not ‘good’ enough for an event like that.’
‘Apply this. Apply that. Go to the parlour. Go to the boutique. Go here. Go there. Go up. Go down. Go round and round. Go right around. Again, go here, go there. Go everywhere.’
I mean, come on. Give me a break. I might as well float in the air and disappear than go back to that dreaded place to hear constant commotion.
It is my firm belief that all negativity arises from this constant buzzing. If one just simply sits down, take a deep breath, and picks up that steaming hot cup of nestle coffeee and remove that nasty bit of ‘other’ from their mind, they’ll actually find they have hardly anything to think about and a lot more sweet time to focus on themselves. On a better themselves.
I pride myself on being a steady individual. I’m pretty emotionally strong and stable and hardly anything affects me unless it’s a cosmic shift or something like that. People naturally assume from my cute demeanour of a recently turned teen that I’m a kitten who laughs and jokes and is safe from the cruelty of the world in a nutshell of innocence stuff. When in reality I’ve been clawed myself several times too- I’ve struggled with friendship for the past four years with hardly one person to actually open up to, with balancing my passion for writing and school so neither is affected and with constant whispers, many a time rather unpleasant that buzz and follow me all around school.
I’ve realised that if you give too much of a damn about what others think, life is completely going to become a mirror. Only this time, there’ll be no one standing in front of it and there will be no ‘reflection.’ What’s there is all in the mirror.
Upon seeing me, people immediately paste a piece of paper on my forehead labelling me as a nerd. They all naturally assume that I’m miss owl who studies and reads day and night, a bossy teenager who enjoys showing off and a teacher’s pet. It couldn’t be further from the truth. What amuses me most is when people mistake my genuine cheerfulness for fake happiness that I put on to hide a mask of spite underneath me. I mean come on, snap out of it. Life isn’t Hamlet. It’s even come to a point when people become surprised upon knowing that a person genuinely enjoys my company.
Yes, it hurts when people stereotype me. Assume me to be someone completely different from what I perceive, hope and wish to be. But I’ve learnt that I need to live with it. This is Kaliyug. You must have heard of:
‘This is the twenty-first century. Burn or be burned.’
Instead I follow:
‘Stay away from the inflammable substances.’
It’s safer, better and easier to follow or use. (Nirma, Nirma, washing powder Nirma)
You have to just end up doing it at some point. You can either stare away at the hazy reflection in the mirror and repeatedly be pricked by people’s words or phrases, become part of the reflection itself, or do what I’ve decided to do, or perhaps already done..
Smash the mirror.
Yes, smash the mirror itself. No mirror, no reflection.
Don’t give a damn about what others are thinking, because they’ll never ever stop doing that. You’ll only bother yourself. Let them blather away.
Because a wise person once said,
The body is like a gift box. The inside is what matters. The wrap, no matter how neatly done, simply gets torn away.
In case you haven’t guessed, that wise person is me myself. 🙂
STAY HAPPY FOREVER!
Jai Sri Hari!