First of all I want to thank all beautiful soul here who without judging me coveyed their love, condolences believe me I really felt them, I cried in gratitude for all your love , compassion concerned.

If I say I am not grieving yet,this will be a sheer lie, but indeed m trying to collect my self bit by bit….!

After his sudden demise ,for few days ,I was just numbbed and was inconsolable, I was even thinking to kill my self, but as He was totally against it, and had a beautiful tagline for life..”Life is a celebration of being Alive” that kept me saneย  in my worst.

But there is always a feeling.. I would not call strange, it seems he is there with me..I feel his arms around, and though I did not dream about him since he has gone,but I feel his presence, I have resumed my office, there also I feel he is with me, and when I leave office, & walk till my home I literally converse with him like don’tย  worry I will take care of my self, you be at peace, as he was totally a jolly good fellow I tell him to joke with God, and warn him not to waste his Charm on “Apsara” because I will feel jealous….!๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

While doing little chores at home it seems he said something and I really laugh as I used to do when he was physically present.

This led me to some google searching, where there are lost of interpretation ofย  “Soochma Sharira” I never knew this term because both of us are God fearing but not very religious …He was a very Spiritual person in his own way always helping others, because as per him helping the needy is best service to the God…,So got confused with this “Soochma Sharira” term where there are many commentaries like when we leave our body there is a Soochma Sharira which never dies, and even after death takes care of his or her loved ones and guide them……!

Let me tell you I was somewhat thrilled and happy that wow…!!!! He is there, he never left me….He will never leave me.., but then again there was an interpretation that the Soochma Sharira feels pain when we grieve or cry or remember them, so all we ,the loved one must pray for their Shanti, and tell them to be at peace and move on to their further destination….!!!

I do not know what is the truth behind it…I am very Confused , I feel very happy with the idea that he is with me…Taking care..But I feel guilty too…I am holding him to move further….I am being selfish….!!!!

Dear people I seek your version on it….! Though I love him , miss him…I can’t trouble him……!

Pls ignore my faults, as I have never written before….He was a very articulated Man…I think he lended me some of his wisdom to write here…!๐Ÿ˜Š



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Suneeta Singh

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