This has been my journey towards Him or I can put it the other way around, how He revealed Himself differently at different times.

I have vague memories of my early childhood when I visited Krishna temple with my grandmother, there’s nothing much about those days. As I was born and grew up in a small-town, visits to different temples with cousins was the only source of entertainment then.  I don’t know if anybody can relate to it but there are different temples for different days like Devi’s temple is to be visited on Tuesdays and navratri’s and Shivji on Mondays and a few seasonal like shitalamaa and gurudwaras for a change. For me, it was not about God, it was more about prasad, food, and toy stalls outside the temple. God for me was someone who stayed in heaven and had mood swings, He may be happy with me or might get upset at the slightest mistake. I have studied in a convent school so visiting chapels and churches gave me the notion of ”Wow this is a better and comfortable way to pray, Jesus must be more lenient and understanding.”

My father is a very religious person, I have always seen Him very dedicated to his daily puja and no matter what you ask him or what problem you share with him he has only one answer ‘He will take care.’ Till recently I never understood what it meant. I just knew if I want something from God just ask papa to forward the request. God will surely listen to him because he is regular with his prayers.

When I entered my twenties I came across this concept of karma which I failed to understand. I just understood one thing, I need to fear God. I will be punished severely for the smallest mistakes. This made me get entangled in this theory of right and wrong (still needs to be detangled). Earlier this fear didn’t exist as God was not watching me and for titbits, papa was there to handle.

HE thought of revealing HIS true form or should I put it this way, ‘HE positioned me right to get HIS real view.’ It didn’t happen overnight, it was a very gradual process of how it happened is another long story but for now, I can say HE is the most loving one. I cannot claim to have seen HIM but I have felt HIM, I  know HE is always near me, HE can know the deepest and faintest wish and is ready to give all. HE loves like nobody does.