In 2019, when I was in Delhi, I met a friend. He told me a story: a story that took place in his life. It was about his beloved: beloved who had committed suicide. They were probably in college then, unmarried. Years had passed. The good thing was he had survived himself from the trauma of such incident. It brought so much emotions within me that I had chosen to write my feelings in metrical-verse form. I sent him the poem and he appreciated it.
It was those days when Samuel Taylor Coleridge, the writer of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and Christabel had moved me with his skills: skills of playing with imagination and with the dark romantic genre.
My sole aim behind sharing this poem is to take you through an emotional ride. Here is the poem-
It was that end portion of the night,
When moon was walking the surface, dimly-bright.
The summer and its dryness has crossed my village;
But my beloved, the reason for my heart-dry.
That morning was a day of suicide
When my Moon had crossed the tunnel of her life.
I couldn’t count the reason why she decided,
Why moon? the reason for my heart-dry.
I tried sleeping that night;
Dream occurred, her motion in my sight.
She came and sat beside me-asleep,
Whispered with her voice, soothingly deep—
“Want to come to me, my Sun?
There will be you and me and all shun.
I have crossed the path, just for you.
Waiting for your crossing, it’s now your turn.
See the rope is there for the job;
It will be a few minutes pain and no more sob.
Look all unearthly beings are coming with hope,
Join us! join us! Do your demon invoke.
Oh join! join! you cowardly man!
Come to us and join us in this pain.
I lied to you, here’s no ethereal peace,
We are caged in these bodiless ships.
Come to me my Sun,
Here I’m in pain.
My decision was wrong but now I’m in chain.
Come to me, your presence will soothe;
We both can survive beyond bodily suits.
Today time no more, dawn is there.
Please come! please come! nothing to fear.
Will come again tomorrow, the time is less,
My sraddha is hurrying, 3 more days left.
Ok! I left the decision in your hand;
Come to your love or left me in pang.
Sorry for asking you to join in pain,
It’s demonic rule to bring others in chain.
No! no! dear please no! no! don’t come.
I have made my wrong,
But you don’t left life’s fun.
The family, the friends, the river, the neighbour,
All are precious for life’s pleasure.
Little sufferings which I took as heap,
Took away all my parent’s sleep.
I thought my suicide will be like a short day’s nap,
But made me separated from my parents lap.
Never gonna hear their voices so dear ,
No way for change, will be no way near.
Bye bye my Sun,
Taking another step;
Forget me if you can, please inform all asap.
Inform my dad, her daughter is in peace,
Ask mom to no more weep.
All had happened only I to blame.
Please do ask them to forgive me,
Nothing more I claim.
See! Sun is arising across river, there,
My demonic friends are searching shadows,
As light we fear.
Have a good life my dear, my beloved Sun.
I love you, will love, Wishing all fun.”
Then sun rays fall on my face in my room-upstairs;
I wake up in tears, in a gloomy sphere.
A day has past my moon is no more;
Her presence, her laugh will be nowhere anymore.
She has gone to that space,
Beyond life, beyond race,
Where voice remains unheard .