As I listen to the thunderous clouds continuously roar, it feels like there’s no end to this furious downpour. Just like my mind saddled with thoughts and desires spinning forth from the wheel every second without any halt. 

On an autumn noon, the sky is pitch black as if the sinister clouds have devoured the sun, light swallowed in darkness. Yet I know it is there shining in full splendor behind the veil. Ah! My Faith. What a beautiful possession of the heart! All I need to do is rise above this grimy layer and see for myself. 

I remember having experienced this severe turbulence on a flight once while passing through the clouds, shaking up my entire being in an attempt to realign all my cells as if in preparation for entry into the portals of paradise. After a few minutes, I looked out of the window to see the same clouds as beautiful, soft, cottony masses painted in golden and saffron by the smiling sun. An entirely different view of the same thing from above and below.

Everything seemed to be so quiet, peaceful and full of light there. The horizon decked by illusory snowy glistening peaks that were none other than those very clouds in the distance. “This must be heaven”, I said to myself, “Just that I don’t have the eye to see the Gods and Goddesses on their chariots gliding along those fluffy carpets silently.”

Will I ever be able to get that eye to witness the Divine? I aspire to, but how I know not. O Mother, will you not teach your child how to see, how to feel and how to love just like the way you do?Boundless divine love! 

For the mistakes I commit, I am ashamed not. Rather I ask you to reprimand me and pull me by the ear back onto the right path. My rights and wrongs, my virtues and sins are all yours, for they have all come from you. How can they be mine when I myself am not?

I will keep doing the best I can. Praying at your feet, chanting your names, beholding you in my heart. Yes, like a gentle gurgling stream cuts through rocks knowing not which definite track to follow, I shall flow as you wish, on the path you carve. Certain to merge in you, irrespective of what all terrains I may have to cross.

A beggar that I am, I borrow this beautiful poem from Rabindranath Tagore as a befitting prayer for what I seek from you, my Mother Divine.

That I want thee, only thee — let my heart repeat without end. All desires that distract me, day and night, are false and empty to the core.

As the night keeps hidden in its gloom the petition for light, even thus in the depth of my unconsciousness rings the cry – ‘I want thee, only thee‘.

As the storm still seeks its end in peace when it strikes against peace with all its might, even thus my rebellion strikes against thy love and still its cry is – ‘I want thee, only thee‘.

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Kirtee Om

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