लहरों early negative visualization real lesson a gift dreams parenthood and ignorance understood the hard way
It started a few Sundays ago. My son made a rule that on Sunday everything will be done in a relaxed manner. Mom is not going to enter the kitchen (- that I think was done in self preservation 😃😃 I am a terrible cook). Food would be ordered from a friend who cooks on order and does home delivery. We would get up late, everyone would make their own breakfast and generally relax. As it is there was total lockdown on the weekends – so nowhere to go. We would watch a movie ,maybe 2 during the day. But there was one thing in this whole routine that was upsetting me. The morning Puja is done by my husband and evening by me. And whatever individual prayers we did was done according to our daily timetable. With this lazy Sunday routine my entire prayers schedule went for a toss. No meditation and honestly I was doing the basic necessary prayers only. Whereas on weekdays I would read hymns from  SGGS sometimes for half an hour. The time spent was flexible maybe just one page. But I made an effort to read every day. Or maybe listening to kirtan. Even while watching a movie my mind was never at peace. I started feeling guilty that I am not saying my prayers but watching a movie. My son noticed this and said -“ even God takes Sunday off.  Enjoy your time with your family and be grateful- God will be equally happy”. 
That really set me thinking – am I just doing the daily routine of prayers because that was taught to me by my elders ? Was it wrong to take a day off? Am I doing something wrong? Is God such a strict taskmaster? What am I teaching my son – that’s it not okay to take time out ?? When ever I travel my prayers routine is out of sync but I don’t feel guilty because I have valid reason for missing my prayers. 
Honestly I don’t know the answers to the above questions. But I do know I am not enjoying a guilt free Sunday. How does one create a balance without being a routine obsessed  person ?