Today is 17th November, 2022, I completed reading Swamiji’s book on “If truth be told: A Monk’s Memoir” second time. I want to state clearly first, that am not at all a bookish person. Being a musician and a performer I always dwelled with music and rhythm. Books are always kept with love in my bookshelf only. But this book, I wonder if there’s a magic or something else have stuck my eyes! Couldn’t move a bit without reading this book. It seemed as if this book has tied me with its own power. I even skipped my lunch to read this book today and I completed reading the whole book in one day and that too for second time which is very remarkable!
When I first read the book this year in March , I was a bit fascinated and too surprised but continued reading with full concentration. I didn’t feel bored with life at all, nor any feelings came bubbling in me! I was somewhat dumbstruck!! Because some incidences which were written in the book also happened with me as well. When it happened, I felt my situation to be an unique one who is suffering in such a grief!! Human’s basic nature is to highlight his or her grief, sorrow or struggle and consider it as to be the most unique. Though I accepted the truth after all it happened, which was too difficult for me and my husband but still we both accepted it whole heartedly. Yes, its true all that happened with us is only for our own fault we accepted it that too. So, we could surpass the situation somehow. We felt completely empty , alone isolated but still we didn’t give up. But that situation changed our mindset, perception and my own extrovert nature turned out very introvert. Everybody in our family thought I have been caught into depression after this mental shock! But nobody could understand my silence. I got completely silent! At that moment this book came to our hand which too have helped us a lot to get over and let go for what happened with us and many people in this year January.
Today, after I completed reading the book I could not hold my tears any more! Cried loudly for sometime like a new born baby who just came out of a Mother’s womb! Felt every bit of word Swamiji wrote. The chapters “ A dog’s life” and “ The Himalayan woods” moved me, shook me from the core. Finally, as was going through the last chapter tears rolled down with utmost Love and Gratitude. I don’t know what else to write or what adjectives shall I put for this extent of dedication, compassion and love! Am getting short of my words. I haven’t seen Swamiji in my eyes yet till now but Mother Divine has placed his lotus feet in my heart gently. If Mother Divine allows me then it would be my highest privilege to see him in my own eyes. I along with my husband are eagerly waiting for that moment to come. Till then,I believe that He could also sense my tears of Love for him. Jai Sri Hari.