That feeling of love! Isn’t it what we all seek? We first experience it when we are pampered with love as children. Yes as babies too, but am no reincarnated genius to remember my ‘babyhood’:) Some more years pass and we experience this fulfilment with a different kind of love from our friends. Then comes the inevitable. The first crushes, the exciting first loves and accompanied heartbreaks (for some. Okay for most!). And God forbid the amazing love at first sight, leading to marriage (I mean due to God’s grace;)).
And the rest of our lives just consists of us trying to experience this blissful moment of love over and over again. But it seems like it just never lasts! This high, this indescribable feeling, which has been arising from the mind since we were little, we just never seem to be able to get a good lasting hold of it! But then grace dawns one fine day, leaving us speechless.
It is THAT love. The eternal love, the unconditional love which is independent of external circumstances. The love which awakens from within.
The love which manifests as you feel a sudden excitement for life and you open your eyes in awe. As you speak, love oozes out of your being but unfortunately not much comes out of your mouth. You only speak of your beloved. His praises, His glories, His beauty, His life and His existence are all you can speak eloquently about. But don’t be fooled, because chances are that you’ll find yourself saying the same things over and over again. Why? Because words fall short of this love. This true love. The experience of your essence, manifested as love. An inexplicable feeling.
A love that knows no reciprocation, it remains in silence. A love that is beyond expectations, there is no give and take, in fact there is very little action in it. It’s a love which moves without anyone noticing anything but your lips turn into a beautiful curve. An uninvited smile. People think you are happy. You think of your beloved and you smile. It can be in the middle of a crowd or in solitude. Sometimes you are sad because you miss Him. He is within, but this illusion is also His play. His love suddenly disappeared!
But what happened? The mind gets into motion and love vanishes faster. The questions start arising: Where is the love gone? What’s wrong? Why? What? When? How? Bla Bla!
But little does the mind know..little do we know that Divine love and the mind cannot co-exist. When love is, nothing else is, yet everything is. Love is beyond comprehension. You know it’s that divine love when no one is in front of you or anywhere around you yet your entire being has melted into mush.
Your heart feels like marshmallow and you tell Him, please don’t ever go away. Stay right here and let me always feel Your love. Yet, His whole play is that of hide and seek, because what is love without separation?
He reveals many secrets in silence. But His biggest secret is that you just never know when His love will invade you. He comes in silence and He leaves without a word. But the beauty is that He comes back again and again… forever teasing you.
One day His love will steal your entire being away, and you no longer recognise yourself.
You speak like Him, You walk like Him, You love like Him and You act like Him. And you realise all of this after you’ve done it all. The beauty of Divine love cannot be understood, it can only be felt. How? Through divine grace. But How? By emptying oneself.
And then we leave it in His hands alone, for grace to descend because:
Without the beloved wanting the lover, there can be no lover.
Our beloved seeks us more than we seek Him.
And Rumi’s words become an experience, they pierce through your entire being:
Heat is not brought by fire only.
When you suddenly walk through my door,
I feel warm.
When you promise to come but do not,
I feel desolate and cold.
Frost does not appear in winter alone.
And in Divine love, you find yourself humming this to yourself:
Some day, come to silently to express your love.
The way you find excuses to not come,
Some day, come with an excuse to stay forever.
And on this note my smiling friend, this is why I say stop thinking. If you keep thinking, you’ll start believing that I speak alien language! You’re wrong! So wrong. It’s minion language! The language of love and surrender. And this language of love, cannot be understood, it can only be felt and then He reveals His many secrets. I’ll leave you to soak in the bliss of this song, which may be familiar:)