We all are driven into the concept of validation it’s like the only thing next to oxygen
Growing up I was very confident and an extrovert child but as the passage of time grew things happened that lowered my self confidence and I became this child who have a constant fear of judgement, who needs others validation before her own.
Humans are in an irresistible need of a validation we always wants to be like someone or liked by someone
Let that sink,
We always want to like someone or liked by someone
Let understand it with an example If we are ever standing in group we always expect everyone to list to us ,to pay attention to our thoughts to give us their all importance or in short give up validation .
Have you ever did this like you really loved a dress and you wore it then asked your friend’s suggestion and they don’t like it now you feel pretty bad about a dress that was the most chaotic thing to you and just because someone else doesn’t like your likes, someone else didn’t validate you so you spoilt your prettiest movement
Now just because someone don’t give you validation based on the prison of their own understandings you cannot stop breathing
Now I understood this concept by the help of a friend whenever I use to get body consciousness or felt like I am the spot light here and people are judging me I asked her if I was looking ok or not the first question was “Are you feeling good about your outfit “and if I said yes she’ll say in her worst tone more of scolding “then why do you give crap about what others say ,stop making up stories in your mind .you are not the spot light here”
With her constant scolding me ,about me having a fear of validation she feed this in my system that I shouldn’t give any crap to what people think because I don’t need their validation to live .
I remember myself to be a child who couldn’t even walk up straight on the road , stand straight on the stage because she felt too conscious about it , starts getting anxious infront of too many people,always assuming herself being the spot light and people judging her , but now that I have understood this concept of “I don’t give a crap” I actually don’t care and I am not her anymore.
So you also need to feed this in your system to Change, like whenever I feel this fear of validation I keep saying this in my mind ” I don’t need your validation to live “,”I don’t need your validation to live” . And presumably it works
In order to fit in that whole liking criteria don’t just shrink in the areas in the areas u have outgrown, don’t just fit into the place where you don’t fit anymore , because after all you don’t need someone’s liking or validation to live.