I wish I could claim credit for this story. The fact is that this story wrote itself, directed by a prop and some oxymorons. 

The alarm goes off and I know it’s time for me to go to the gallows. My time is up. This is the last time I will ever hear an alarm. It feels strange. There is a vague sense of trepidation but there is also a strange sense of calm. I am clearly confused at this strange silence I feel within.  A whole piece of my life has come and gone by; here I am ready to move into another lifetime. I wonder if reincarnation is a reality. Will I really come back to this earth? 

“But mama, I am hungry,” I remember telling my mom over and over again. She didn’t have anything for me.  I could see all those fruits and goodies laden carts, yet there was nothing for me or her. I wondered how it could be that no one was willing to help. No one stopped to give us anything. I didn’t want to steal, but “you have zero choice”, whispered a voice in my head. 

“No, I can’t, they will take me away. I never liked you and always will cause you are my only true friend. Even mama doesn’t have anything for me. But you always have a solution.”

 And that was seriously funny because how could it be that the woman who gave me this life itself, had nothing more for me?  Oh, this beautiful pain of body and mind that shows me a side of me I never thought I had.

We had everything until that fateful day when the police came home and took away my father. Then came the auctioneers to feast on this sweet sorrow. At last, I was free of him but now I had no home. My only choice was becoming clear. I couldn’t see her hungry and crying. I could steal or I could end her pain. Once and forever. Freeing her forever from the clutches of my father and this gnawing body pain that was eating up our insides and turning our intestines into shrivelled rivulets of a long dead river.

“Forgive me mama, I only thought of you.”