Thank you for being here. Lots of Love and positive vibes from me to you 🙂
A little background story
I had always been a Human of terrible temper, don’t ask me the reasons; I am as oblivious as you are ! I used to go off at little things, at the slightest triggers. May be it was our society, may be it was the expectations that either I myself had put on my young, delicate shoulders or let others put theirs on me. Being from a middle class Indian family doesn’t help either, you are not sure about saying yes to every expectation being put on you and you feel guilty on saying no.
Either way, at the tender age I had stopped feeling like myself. I felt like I was just a version of how other people saw me. I was a daughter, a student, a friend, a sister. I was just not myself. I had forgotten how it felt like to have thoughts and emotions entirely of my own. I was looking at myself through other eyes, constantly judging myself for not being better, pushing hard to fulfill all expectations. I remember I had scored badly in a maths test and the next test was after 2 days. I did not touch food for those 48 hours and ate only after I had scored full marks in the next test (I was 17).
At that time, my friends found it inspiring, may be they tried doing it too but it was one of the cruelest things one can do to themselves. It is the case with most people out there, a lot of our suffering is due to our expectations either from ourselves or from others. In my case I had started feeling like a depressed bird, a bird who has lost the will to fly even when there was no cage to trap me.
Fast forward to 2020
“I really couldn’t help but notice you have really emerged as an example for the youth. You have shared some really good books to start with and I am really glad that you have been my classmate, keep doing what you are doing and I know one day you will shine”
This is a message I received a few weeks ago from one of my classmates, it is one of those hundreds of messages that I receive from people who are closely engaged with me or those thousands of people who read my writings regularly.
The journey started when I finally asked myself the most important question “why am I doing these things that don’t make me happy?”
For days I reasoned. questioned and analysed that if I am ready to say “No”. Am I ready to see those disappointed faces? Am I ready to face the criticism? Am I ready to be on my own? but the most important question was “Am I comfortable with my own thoughts?” “what if I regret it later?”
And finally decided that I was, I was so desperate to feel my independent existence I started saying “no” to things that I didn’t truly want, to things that did not make me happy. It resulted in departure and disappointment among a lot of my close family and friends but I had told myself that those who truly love me will accept me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. Those who love me would want to see me happy and if not ,I was ready to let go.
Slowly I stopped engaging in unproductive conversations, stopped watching TV, stopped consuming unproductive content, started focusing more on my health, lost 10 kgs of weight (you can see my fitness journey here) started reading more, listened to monks and after being inspired by their way of their living I started meditating, leading a disciplined life, started planning goals and most importantly, decided to do something to make this world a better place.
Since then I have been reaching wide audience through my blogs and social media handles to inspire them to read, to be fit and to lead a positive life full of love and gratitude. In a firm-argumentative tone I have written articles addressing little social problems that we tend to ignore , problems that seem too insignificant but are the root cause of many big problems today. Yes, I still have my ups and downs but downs are more less and ups, a little more.
- Focus on the thoughts you have, for they alone shape you into the human that you are. (or want to be).
- The best way to avoid overthinking is to started focusing on your breath. Breath, is our connection to this world, it is the testimony of our existence and the best tool to bring you back to the present moment.
- Even better way is to communicate with the deity you believe in, either through a mantra or the normal conversation like you’ll have with a very close friend.
- Most of the content shown on internet, TV today are not healthy for your mind, try to limit it.
In any case, remember that your mind is not a dustbin to dump everyone’s opinions in it. Never judge yourself, there are enough people in the world to do that for you. Respect yourself and love yourself (not in an egocentric sort of way).
The four things that make me content and peaceful. you can try it too 🙂
- Buy ice cream/ food for a poor kid, the smile on that innocent face will light up your day like nothing else.
- Yoga, is one of my favorite times of the day for it has the power to discipline and calm you, both at once.
- Spend at least 20 mins with yourself, yes talk to yourself and listen to that inner voice. It’s very very important to feel your existence
- Read. Books are you best friends. You don’t need any other company if you have books with you. It’s a positively addictive habit. I have recommended tons of books to a lot of people and all of them have enjoyed thoroughly. If you are a beginner, please drop a comment with the genre you want to read, I’ll be happy to suggest you . 🙂
If you are not happy within how can you make others feel happy around you?
And yes, don’t forget to be yourself, you deserve it! 😀