They say that the ultimate road to realize the supreme is to dissolve ego and become mere instrument in hands of the supreme. However, this seems to be the most difficult path for an egoistic person like me who gets hurt at the slightest abuse or harsh words by anyone.
The more I contemplate on Lord, the self of all, the more I become aware of this little “ego” functioning for his own selfish motives and interests. My inability to dissolve this “ego” led me into thinking what is the real purpose of ego and how ego can become an instrument to progress ahead in the spiritual journey.
Let’s first understand what is this ego ? With my limited understanding, I perceive ego as a mere idea in my head that claims ownership for everything that happens to this body, mind, and intellect(BMI) and thus feels pleasure when something good happens to BMI and pain when something bad happens to BMI. Our body, mind, and intellect starts functioning only when this little entity claims its ownership like a master. So, we can see its essential for us to have ego to survive as one singular entity.
Ego as an obstacle:
The conflict arises when we march the spiritual journey and contemplate on the idea of the supreme, we see the idea of supreme is just opposite to what this ego is. The ego is limited and the supreme is unlimited, this little “I” works only with identification and the self is unattached and unmoved and yet everything happens with his mere presence.
Ego as a tool in hand:
As long as there is a desire, there is ego. Ego feed on desires and sustains on it. When someone speak lovingly to us, our desire to receive love from others is fulfilled and the ego identifies with that fulfilled desire and we feel happy. On the other hand, when someone speak harshly to us, our desire to receive love from others is fulfilled and the ego identifies with that unfulfilled desire and we feel unhappy. This is an unending game that keeps us bound. As we sit in seat of contemplation, knowing we are not the ego, we can change the rules of this game.
The way to use ego to help us in our journey is to gradually changing our desires. Let’s say we tell our ego we want to get rid of this desire to feel fulfilled only when someone speak lovingly to us. This becomes our new desire and this little “ego” now identifies with this thought. Once we do this, magically, we see this ego helps us retaining our body and mind to react in an adverse situation and at the same time feels happy having done his job. This way this little “ego” can help us align with the Supreme.
Please take this advice with a grain of salt as this comes from someone where lot of inner work needs to be done but this little ego tuning has helped me to become better than yesterday and I am hopeful it will help you all too.