I recently wrote posts on “Things a Parent must know” and I am ever grateful to all the parents and os.me family who supported and encouraged my words. Yet, It is my point of view that it takes efforts from both the sides to make a relationship work, so I would like to say to all parents to not to be too hard on themselves and to all kids that before expecting a perfect parent may be we should try our best to be good kids !
This is for 12 years and above
1 . Your Parents are trying their best
Even when sometimes they shout or yell at us, most of the times they don’t mean to hurt us. They are coping with their own life problems. If you are still in school or college then you have a little idea about how hard it is to earn money but our parents are doing it for us without complaints. Yes they are humans too, so they are prone to human emotions like sadness, anger and frustration. Don’t take it on heart as it has nothing to do with us, give them sometime and they will be back to normal.
2. When they can’t understand you
One thing that you can always count on is your parents (except some rare cases) They might not love each other that much (in some cases)but they love you more than anything. I know that during teens some of our best friends start feeling like family, we feel like they understand us more than our parents do. But it cannot be compared to the selfless love that only a parent can do, our parents may not be able to understand all our life problems due to generation gap and culture changes but they really want to. So, may be we should give them a chance to be a part of our life where we feel that they don’t understand us.
3. Dysfunctional Family
I can understand this one, so may be my advice will help you if you are going through the same. If the situation at your home has become beyond tolerance, but everything is still under control, there is no form of violence and the only problem is absence of emotional connect then may be your parent does not know how to express himself/herself. In such a case you can always take the first step by doing small things for them like ordering an ice-cream on weekends. Even if they are mad at you for any reason they will start to change when you start showing them affection.
If there is no violence and the problem is they don’t want to interact with you at all, then bury yourself in books and start working on making a life for yourself. By books, here I mean in whatever field you want to make a career in, start on that. Do not waste your time, energy and emotions on a broken family because some prime years of your life are really crucial and should not be wasted at any cost. As long as your basic needs are taken care of, take that advantage and work hard. Some friends may try to distract you by offering you numerous type of gratifications which will provide you relief for some time but if you work on yourself then not only for a few hours you get to be free for your entire life.
If the situation involves violence of any kind. Then please seek immediate help as this cannot and should not be tolerated.
This is a very sensitive topic, so I will ask kids younger than 16 years of age to skip the point. It is only normal to be attracted by someone cute at this young age, it is not a crime so don’t be guilty like you have committed one. I know people who married their high school sweethearts and it is actually a dream for many. But it is very important to know that if the person is right for you, I won’t use extreme words like “toxic” or “user” because we all are still learning and are still kids. But if your partner is distracting you from studies or is asking you to spend your parent’s money or wants you to cross some sort of physical lines then may be they are still growing and not mature enough to understand the ways of the world. Keep your relationship like a best-friendship until you both are mature enough to decide things on your own. Also if you are close with anyone with your family enough to know that they will not over-react then it’s always a good option to tell them about your cutie-pie 😛 . Just Please don’t get thrown out of your home (just kidding)
5. Identity Crisis
From ages 17-25 it is only normal to be experiencing identity crisis. To have questions like “Why am I here or what;s the point of this life?” If you don’t have these questions or if have never had these questions that would mean that you have been fulfilled and satisfied with your material needs and you never needed to think any of this. On the other hand, If you have gone through some sort of traumas, it is likely that you start asking these questions. I am even more happy for these kids as I believe that only by grace one can ask such questions. These are the questions that will take you to your own truth.
6. Your Truth and God
I understand the pain of feeling like you are thrown into a deep dark swirl of darkness and sadness and will never be able to come of that. When you start feeling a void in your life that fails to be filled with anything you can offer. My sincere advice to you apart from to keep working on yourself is to start meditating. I know at this stage most kids are rational and don’t believe in the existence of god but here is my promise to you that he does. And it’s coming from a gold medalist in science so trust me you can believe me when I say that god is real. I have done my research and wouldn’t be making this statement if I did not believe it in. I most probably won’t be able to explain in words as it is “unexplainable” as stated in the Upanishads but yes I see him and feel him everyday in every fiber of my being. And that is my truth that no matter cruel this world is, I can always return to my blissful state. I encourage you to find yours.
I will come up with some more points on meditation and studies soon and also, If you cannot afford to take up some courses due to your family situations or virtual internships to develop your resume for getting into colleges or placements then do reach out, I might be able to help you as I too could not afford them but found out a way to get scholarships in the form of financial aids 😀 But please only reach out if you can’t afford it.
Har Har Mahadev 😀