The other day I was browsing through Swamiji’s newly launched website where I came across the section for life coaching.

The section mentions 

Every year, Om Swami opens the door for CxOs to apply for his exclusive one-on-one life coaching program. From a pool of hundreds of applications, he handpicks three or four high-impact, high-performance, and high-potential executives who are given life coaching.

What is the first thought that comes to your mind?

Let me tell you what I felt immediately.

Failure!

An unforgiving cloud of judgement wrapped the sunshine of peace and happiness that I had a moment ago while I was looking at swamiji’s new website. The next few minutes, my desires completely overtook the calm state of my mind.

“Ah, I can never be a CXO”

“I can never be part of this program from Swamiji. What have I done in my life all these years?”

“It would have been such a great thing to receive life coaching from swamiji himself” 

“Such a shame, I couldn’t be successful enough to join this club”

“bla bla bla……..” and the rant continued.

I paused for sometime and somehow got hold of the prancing horse of judgement which was running over and destroying every inch of my contented state of mind.

It’s very natural that when you are in love with someone you want to spend every minute of your life with him / her.  So is our love for swamiji. 

His time is gold dust. We just live in hope for when will he announce his next program and we can just go and spend some time with him. The FOMO of not being eligible to one of his offerings was the main cause of the grief. I never had the desire of being CXO and enjoy the perks (along with associated responsibilities).

The rant of judgement originated from the attachment to swamiji, the desire to be with him and be like him.

Reading and listening about swamiji’s life stories in the various books that are published and videos that are released is always fun. But there are two feelings that always pull me at negative end of spectrum.

First, “Ah, I wish I had known him in person or been one of his close friends/ relatives/ colleagues”

Second “I do not have even 1 % of skill set that swamiji has. From his childhood he has been chanting vedas, reading and writing books, playing chess, practices piano, astrology, a fitness freak, strong business acumen and what not”

So does reading and thinking about him makes me more happy or sad? Honestly I do not have an answer. The feeling is similar to the one you get when your parents boasted about all the good things that the 1st ranker of your class has done while you are trying to have your breakfast.

But here’s the Truth. Swamiji has given us enough time via his books, discourses and camps. He has expounded all the secret that are to be known to be as successful as him. 

I have been following the content from Swamiji since last 7 years. That is a good enough time to actually have become pro in any one of the paths that swamiji has expounded. 

And this brings me to the next rant of self judgement. Have I utilized swamiji’s teachings well enough? Have I done justice to the privileges’ I received of being the recipient of so many camps, you tube videos, books and what not. Isn’t 7 years a good enough time to specialize in atleast one of so many beautiful attributes or paths that swamiji has expounded?

Have I made hay while the sun was shining? Because as we all know, the fire will rage one day.

I need to stop here, I need to control the horse that has started to run around again.

Jai Shri Hari