In constant chaos whether I should write this or not, putting personal information these days feels like handing over a piece of our vulnerability to strangers but what is writing if not being brutally honest?
My social media feed is flooded with mother’s day posts, even if their Moms aren’t part of this digital world. However, my heart also goes to all those who have no one to wish them, those having strained relation with their mothers, who lost their moms recently and years ago, and also who couldn’t get on the journey to motherhood.
My experience has been different with this relationship, My biological mom left me early due to health complications but I still carry her through the resemblance that she passed on to me naturally. I, unconsciously, and miraculously act like her at certain situations even when I haven’t spent a day with her apart from the time she carried me in her womb. The warmth she left always embraced me unknowingly resulting into common behaviour of ours that often my relatives point out and smile.
My Guardian Mother, My Dad’s sister, the one who welcomed me to her home and her heart when I was merely ten days old. I haven’t seen anyone as selfless as her, embracing me as her very own. I don’t know if anyone else could engulf me in such love that never for a second I felt like I am missing out on something. I don’t know if I would be able to have a heart so big.
My adoptive mother, Sister in law of my Guardian mother, my strong immigrant mother, who adopted a daughter despite of having two sons. The one who left her home with her husband, to unknown place with unknown language and unknown culture. The one who made it against all odds and still nurtured her family while figuring out how to live her own life in an alien country.
I definitely lost a single well defined mother-daughter relationship, but I found much more. I never looked back and regretted any bit of it. Though It would be a lie to say that things always were in this positive perspective. I absolutely miss some parts, some normality, but I carry blend of all their different charms within me. I cherish the fact the I look upto three individuals instead of one.
On ending note, I am linking one of my favourite song by John Lennon from The Beatles that he curated for his mother, Julia.