I had a tough 2020. And when I thought that finally the year’s coming to an end, whoooossh, the hardest blow hit me. My relationship collapsed. Something I was building up brick by brick like a sweet little home for more than an year, was attacked by a cyclone of defamations and aversions.
It was the day before I released my debut original song on YouTube (here, if you’d like to watch it). I could feel nothing for two days, no excitement for the song release. I couldn’t feel any love that my family, friends and even strangers were showering all over me for the song. All I could brood over was what all he said, how I just kept crying like a baby having no idea how to defend myself.
So to distract myself from everything, I went on a trip with some people, most of whom I didn’t know (friends of a friend). I changed the city but couldn’t get away from my mind and haunting thoughts. I was losing my grip, I was scared to let go. So I tried one last time and what happened?
Loathing unkind phrases were slandered against me yet again, I was called a “pessimistic person jo apni dukho ki mala bunti rehti hai”! And things a lot more worse which no one deserves to hear from anyone.
I was not in my city and my home when this happened and I went through a major emotional breakdown. I hated every inch of myself and was crying to Sri Hari and Swami for help. I was sleep deprived for more than 40hrs and my body revolted. I was sick.
Did Sri Hari listen? Yes, he did. My brother came to get me on time and the situation came under control. My mom hugged me dearly and my dad said that he has got something worth more than lakhs of money seeing me home.
So, today I woke up and called my doctor, Dr. Renu Madan. And I told her everything which happened. The reason I am writing this blog post is to remind myself again and again whenever I open to read my posts on os.me, to remind myself what she said to me”
“Beta, the universe will churn out people from your life who are no more needed. We may ponder over the reasons why we get separated from people, but the truth is they needed to be churned out from your life by God. And the right people will keep tossing in front of you by God even when you don’t go out looking for them.
And the most important thing is, if people pull you down, if they don’t uplift you, it’s time to move away from them. Someone who hurts you so much is never worth it.”
Such simple words opened my eyes and made me see all the beautiful things which I have been given by God, all the amazing friends I have, who were there when I was going through so much trouble, and most importantly —my family (I have no words to even express the gratitude to have four angels in my home).
It’s a new year. It’s a new life. It’s a new Tanu. And it’s a new Taahira.
I promise myself this year that I will always choose kindness, I will always be compassionate, and I will always choose love. I will always forgive those who hurt me.
I am going to start afresh with hope for a new life, with devotion for Swami and Sri Hari in my heart and with gratitude for having Sadhviji, and so many good people in my life.
And at last I would like to end this post with something I wrote,
अभी तो बहुत चाहतें निभाना बाक़ी है,
अभी तो बहुत अश्कों की कहानी बाक़ी है,
हाथ थामकर रखना मेरा इस सफ़र-ए-ज़िंदगी में,
अभी तो एक जादू की नगरी बसाना बाक़ी है।
Jai Sri Hari to all those who read this 🤗. A very happy New Year 🦋