“They are very truthful and honest but they are rude, don’t speak kindly and are not caring.”
A close friend told me this a few moments ago and I was stumped. It bothered me – they are truthful and that’s wonderful but unkind? Truth is a spiritual virtue and it is a great thing, so how can they be wrong? They are truthful after all, but compassion is also important. I asked myself which one was more important and contemplated on it for a while. You can imagine my little brain going through some heavy traffic jam … beep beep, cars I mean thoughts everywhere:)
But I guess the answer had to come fast otherwise, my brain may have exploded. Lo and behold, I concluded that honesty and truthfulness are wonderful but if we don’t have a soft heart filled with compassion it isn’t of much use. We then become like a tired tree without leaves, it is just big and cannot provide shade to anyone.
However, guess what? I am not blaming those who are only truthful and honest but unkind. And this is the realisation I really wanted to share. (If you don’t want to read my post, then just watch this little video, it’s fun and deep).
People are truthful and honest because they are, but why aren’t they compassionate? Well, experiences and conditioning. Everyone is hurt and if you find someone who is very rude, chances are that they have been hurt or cheated. Being truthful and honest is their way of being but their rudeness is their shield of protection. That’s because to be kind and compassionate we need to be vulnerable and as soon as we become vulnerable, our chances of being cheated become higher. It’s a catch 22 really.
What can be done? Well as the kind and truthful (+ whole Divine package:)) Om Swami says the only way to change anyone is through love. We can only be compassionate, kind and loving towards them because if we are being hurt it is because they are hurt themselves. Sometimes it is impossible to win people over or avoid them or change them, because the deeper rooted the hurt, the harder the heart and the thicker the shield. In that case what do we do?
Pray my friend, pray. Faith and prayers for others are the way forward and perhaps that’s why Sadhanas and spiritual practices are here to help, so that we become stronger to provide love and solace to hurt souls. And hurt hearts there are many, too many. So next time someone hurts us, let’s try compassion because who knows what they went through or are going through.
And let me add one more thing before I wrap up. If we are truthful and honest let’s also ask ourselves whether we are being humans or just truthonesty robots (yeah I just made up this word, because why not!) because truth without a heart can be painful, both to the recipient and the giver. Let’s all become mushy robots instead, shall we?