There’s a famous Buddhist parable about two monks & a woman that goes like this.

Once, a monk and his disciple were travelling together. They came to a river with a strong unrelenting current where a young woman was waiting, unable to cross alone. Seeing the monks she walked up to them and requested them if they would help her across the river.

The monks had taken the sacred vow of never touching women. Nevertheless, the older monk picks her up, crosses the river carrying her on his back, and sets her down on the other side. The disciple joins them across the river and is absolutely horrified that the older monk has broken his vow and is totally unperturbed about it. However, they kept travelling, both quiet.

An hour passes, then two and so on. Finally, the agitated disciple can take it no longer and breaks his silence, “Why did you carry that women when we took a vow as monks to never touch women? And how come you are so unflustered about it?”

The older monk calmly replies, “I set that woman down a few hours ago by the side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?”

At some point we have to realize that the past is gone for a reason, and the best way to move forward is by not looking back. Because we do not heal the past by dwelling there, we heal it by living fully in the present.