So I recently read a book where I came across these two awesome lines and felt that this was worth sharing. I am NOT writing a review of the whole book but just these two lines and elaborating on the same. Intentionally not sharing the name of the book. Would love to know if someone has read and do mention in the comments.
Two things to remember: Bad things that we have done to others and Good things others have done for us.
Two things to forget: Good we have done to others and bad others have done to us
It is so simple and yet so profound. In these two lines, likes the secret to happiness and mental peace.
Lets first look at remembering:
We should always always remember if we did a bad thing, to someone or otherwise. It should be in our mind all the time, that our action, word or deed caused someone pain, trouble or sadness. Even once it has been corrected, we should remember it . It will help us stay humble, stay grounded and realise that we are mere ordinary human being.
We should also always remember if someone has done something good for us. Most importantly, the good which is done out of turn, by someone who we are not even closely related to, are even more important to be remembered. I have always believed, if you don’t know the person who helped you, then believe me, it was God. I have always given lot of importance when someone not very close to me, gives me a random advice or suggestion. Like, why don’t you take up this course or why don’t you read this book, or watch this show, etc. And I have always found the advice extremely useful. And invariably, the person is not around or contactable, for me to thank him/her for the same.
The author further gives the example of Salt. Its only noticed when it’s too much or too little. It’s so humble that when something goes wrong, it takes blame and when everything goes right, it does not take credit. Thats such a great learning from an inane item we use daily !
Similarly, when it comes to forgetting:
We should soon forget whatever good we did for others. However big our task or the contribution might be, the sooner we forget, the sooner we are out of that ‘air’ of superiority complex, the better for us. Over time, I have realised, there is no task, act or deed, that remains the biggest, grandest or the most difficult. Every act gets surpassed by someone, sooner or later. On this small planet in this mighty galaxy, we are nothing more than a spec of dust. And our acts are even tinier than that. So there is no reason for us to carry around our badge of honour and pride for even a fraction of a second. Move on to the next task ASAP.
Last, but definitely not the least, we should forget if anyone does anything bad to us. Holding on to the grudge of someone trying to do harm or cause damage, is a total waste of time. Our thoughts and actions should be directed by what we believe we can do and we should not be influenced by what others did to us. The longer we carry the sense of anger, enmity and hatred for the other person, the longer it takes us from harbouring new, progressive and forward looking thoughts. Greatness is in forgiving and forgetting, not in carrying on umbrage against anyone.
Hope this short note with these important points will help you sort yourself out in many situations.